Mourning Star

This must be my best poem so far..i think. But it's about the relationship between father and daughter- they lose each other at first, but begin to realize their mistakes and become a family again.

 

Sometimes in life, we refuse to take our chances; even when we are given a hundred a day.

 

“Mourning Star”

 

It seems only yesterday

That she was my baby girl.

It seems only yesterday

In my arms she would curl.

 

Harder and harder

To see her grow up.

Harder and Harder

She’s no longer a pup.

 

Late night outs

And long phone calls.

Back talking, shouts,

And crashing the malls.

 

Breakups, detention,

Cat fights like-brawl.

I give her attention,

But she continues to fall.

 

Midnight has come, in her room I would peek;

Hold her, cuddle her, by her side I will sneak.

Sometimes I wonder, what an angelic thing.

So I hold back some tears, and this I will sing:

 

“High in the sky, I will be for you.

Watching you always, your mom is there too.

Grow you will grow, and I may be far;

Don’t worry my child, my mourning star.”

 

Years have passed now

And she’s all grown up

How beautiful she is

I still wonder how.

 

In my bed I will lie

By myself like a heap

Dreaming and thinking

While inside, I shall weep.

 

♥♥♥

 

It seems only yesterday

That I was a child.

It seems only yesterday

That I was very wild.

 

Harder and Harder

My life has become.

Harder and Harder

Since losing my mom.

 

Late night outings,

And several prank calls.

Frowning and pouting,

And facing the walls.

 

Lectures, homework,

Drama and boys.

Teachers to irk,

Weird music and noise.

 

Years have now passed,

And I questioned his love.

But life went by fast,

Which I tend to think of.

 

Midnight is near, and his birthday has come through.

I sneak in the room, with a cake and rum too.

Though he’s asleep, I wipe his face, glum.

I hold him by my side, to him I shall hum:

 

“High in the sky; I will wait for you.

Listening always, knowing mom is there too.

Age I will age, but sing I will then.

For one day, you and I will soon meet again.”

 

♥♥♥

 

In my bed I will lie, trying not to weep.

With my baby by my side, who’s kissing my cheek.

My heart, lost with sadness, now left with a mar,

Is springing with joy, for my morning star.

 

 

 

Inspired by the book- I'll Love You Forever, By: Robert Munsch 

Author's Note

I know the rhyming is a bit rough at some parts but i hope it works :D
[I fixed a few stanzas recently and one, I changed completely]. If It's hard to distinguish the points of views, the first and the last part of the poem is the father, and the second is the daughter :D

Reviews

[Robyn]

I really love this poem! such a strong expression of emotions and love surrounding family ties

[Richard Williams]

Congrats on the placement of your poem "Mourning Star"; heartfelt and evocative. Well done.

[Nancy Lee Shrader]

Congrats on your great winning poem. My baby girl arrives tomorrow. Her name is Bella.

[kirsten]

I love the story line and most of the words you used were good and went well together, I could picture the whole story. Work and the rhyming and this would be perfect :) Good job

[Mischa Keats]

Beautiful story line, but the rhyming got in the way of me fully enjoying the piece.

Keep working at it :)

[Clockwork]

I agree with you that the rhyming is a little rough. At points it may have been better with different choices. But you have potential. This is a good idea. It would be great to see a little more imagery in it with a few internal rhymes. That would take it up a notch. I liked it, and I think that you have talent.

[Passive~Demon]

Lovely, The rhythm and rhyming is consistent.. very good :D

[Ben]

Very good! I like the rhythm. Keep it up!

[A]

I love this poem! It kept me wanting to read more and shows a great relationship between a father and daughter. You captured it very well! Great poem and great writing! :)