The Visit

A prologue/chapter one.

My laptop light attempts to lull me to sleep for yet another night. Empty words and paragraphs litter the screen as unfinished thoughts and proof to myself that completion is impossible. My depression is eating me alive yet again; picking me over for leftover scraps. My phone cries multiple times but I don’t check it. I just stare at it, hoping the vibrations will send it off the bed.

I believe it’s been two weeks since she’s left me. It’s hard to tell. Time comes in waves nowadays. I’ve tried to keep myself busy with endless mugs of coffee and work. That’s what the Internet tells me to do. Unfortunately I’ll do what anyone says at this point. I feel as if I’ve lost myself and an empty vessel is all that weighs left.

My phone rings again and I muster enough strength to answer it.

“Hello?” I say clearly after croaking the first try.

“Hey, James. Just wondering how you’ve been lately.” Her tone was soothing.

“Trying to get you out of my head.” I awkwardly chuckle.

There was a long pause and I checked to see if the call had dropped. I felt a slight pressure on my bed. She sat next to me now, running her hand up and down my leg.

“What are you doing?” I ask, feeling dazed.

She didn’t seem to hear me. Her eyes just watched me with a smile. There was a light breeze from the opened window that brought a few strands of hair across her face - gently tickling her freckles. Her smile pinched her cheeks as she drew each gradual breath in. Time gave me permission to slow and cherish such subtle beauty. The beauty that finds complete balance. It would almost sound insulting to call her average, but that was what I liked about her. Life is unforgiving to those which hold such extremes such as perfection and ugliness. Things which are average will always be safe to expectations.

It became increasingly difficult to see her. My eyes weren’t catching her right, like a camera attempting to focus on something too close to the lens. As the peaceful silence between us lengthened, it became harder and harder to see her until I simply couldn’t anymore. She had left and taken the room’s warmth with her. I was alone again.