Mind The Spider

A Poem by Leonard Birch

Spider had to do his chores, but did he mind? Enjoy!

MIND THE SPIDER.

A funny little spider,
Walked into the room.
Dodging all the humans;
zoom, zoom, and zoom.

Then he found a phone book,
on the floor by the wall.
He opened up the pages;
to see who he could call.

He found his friend called Ricky,
and picked up the telephone.
But Ricky didn’t answer;
as, he was not at home.

Then he called his other friends,
Mitchell, George and Theo.
But no one seemed to be at home;
He tried his mate called Leo.

Finally, Leo answered,
but said he had to go.
“I’ll meet you at the mall my friend;
their putting on a show”.

The spider closed the phone book,
and ran towards the door.
But in the distance came a voice;
“You have to do your chores”.

Spider started crying,
but knew his Mum was right.
He did the things his Mother asked;
and didn’t put up a fight.

His Mummy said, “Thank you son”,
and gave a five pound note.
“That’s for being a real good boy;
now put it in your coat”.

The moral of this story,
is be good to your Mum.
As she will always care for you;
you’ll always be number one.

Thank you Mum!

© 2013 Leonard Birch

Author's Note

Love to hear feedback. I value all comments.
Cheers!

My Review

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Reviews

Holly Mason

a super fun read...enjoyed it much*)
I wonder what spiders do for chores...dust cobwebs? hhah
mum...beautiful word ...
witty and creative...kept me interested
thank you for sharing

Posted 11 Years Ago

11 Years Ago

Thank you Holly for having a read. I am so glad you enjoyed this piece as much as did writing it.read more

Sharon Kim

Leonard, this is fantastic. You have a great rhythm. I love the zoom, zoom and zoom at the end of the first stanza. I also love how you put the moral at the end, just like a fable. As a mom- I think the message is great! :)

The rhyme scheme is wonderful throughout. The one place that I think you could make a change is in the second stanza. Perhaps instead of 'sitting on the floor' you could say 'on the floor by the wall' or 'sitting near the wall'. Just an idea!

Wonderful job, I really enjoyed this!
Sharon

Posted 11 Years Ago

11 Years Ago

Thank you Sharon. Such a wonderful comment. Yes, your correct 'on the floor by the wall', would be b.. read more

11 Years Ago

You're welcome! :)

jvava

This is a good moral story, perfect for any child. Again, your rhyming is very well carried-out.
I like how you told the moral at the end of the story, instead of letting the reader do the guesswork. That makes it even more suitable for children.
There are no mistakes as far as I can see; everything looks good!
Great poem! Keep up the fantastic work!