Secret

It's creeping, lurking, somewhere inside

It's concealed deep down, trying to hide

It's real and raw and makes me feel insecure

It's hurtful and sad, of that I'm sure

It's simple and lonely, all the day long

Yet it's louder than the beating of a gong

It makes me feel comforted when there's nothing left

But when it takes over I feel bereft

No one knows what I feel inside

Because it's something I usually hide

A pain that's deep and 10 feet down

It's spins my head around and round

No one knows, I don't let it show

I have to be happy, they just can't know

I'm perfect and pretty and that gets me by,

Sometimes I wonder, just why? oh, why?

Why does this outside appearance seem real?

When on the inside I'm scared to feel

I'm scared to hurt and let it show

In fear that people will one day know

That I'm really not as perfect as I seem to claim

I'm as fake as the sounding of my name

But someday I hope that I can learn

Just how to be myself and how to truly yearn

For a better life, filled with happiness

And with these last words, I do digress.