chapter one

“I hate you. You’re a racist b***h! I want to move in with my dad! I hope you’re happy Renee!” I shouted to my mom. This was one of the many fights her and I have had the past couple of days.

Renee has hated me since the day I was born. She didn’t even want to bring me home from the hospital. She made my dad drive all the way from Indianapolis to come get me. She didn’t even tell him she was in labor. She hated me for one reason… because I was half black. I did not understand that at all. How could you sleep with a black man become pregnant, then turn racist? I’ve never met someone who was as mean to their child as she was. She did it, it’s not my fault that I’m mixed. I didn’t ask her to go sleep with my dad to produce me she did herself. The seventeen years I’ve been on this earth she’s hated me and treated me like trash. When I was old enough to realize why “mommy” kept calling me a n****r and why she was so mean to me. She was no longer “mommy” but Renee the b***h.

“Fine you little w***e go move in with your dad and his billion of other kids.  You will be the one hearing about him and his 27 baby mamas and their drama and stuff, typical n****r.” She shouted back. I thought to fall back because I didn’t want my little brothers to see us arguing, but I was furious.

“There are only three of y’all! Don’t be mad cause he didn’t choose you and what do you mean typical n****r? You had a child with him stupid! You’re a horrible parent! When I visit my dad this weekend I ain’t coming back. I hate you! I hope you die! I hate you!” I screamed. Seeing she had nothing to say back, I stormed to my room and packed all my things. I really didn’t plan on returning to this hell hole any time soon. Before I knew it I was on my way from Akron, Ohio to Indianapolis, Indiana. I was already on probation and regretted saying those things.

I’ve never really been a problem child I just don’t take anyone’s BS. That was the reason that I had been expelled from every high school except for three in Indy. I love Indy. My best friends Alex and Lexcell live here and my off and on boyfriend lived here. Even though my dad’s house is crowded and full, I was used to it. On my dad side there is my oldest brother Rome, who’s in prison for life, my dad got Rome’s mom pregnant when he was only 13. Then there is Ra’Shard and Tevin. Rome, Ra’Shard , and Tevin have the same mom. Who was killed in a tragic incident a long, long time ago. Then there is me, I’m the only child my dad and mom have together. Then there is Payden, Octavia, Justin, and Isaiah. Those four all have the same mom, Dawn, also known as Mama D. Dawn and my dad have been married 18 years. I love Dawn as if she my own mom. I’ve always been a daddy’s girl, maybe because most of the time I’m with my dad. My dad has been there for me through everything.

On my mom’s side I have three younger brothers: Logan, Riley, and Matthew. I love my brothers to death but don’t get to spend much time with them because I don’t like my mom. I’m surprised her ignorance hasn’t rubbed on them. Luckily they are too smart for that.