Was It Ever Truly Mine?

 

I sit in the dark contemplating life’s complexities

Wondering why, if we are each given the gift of life

That we allow someone else the privilege

To control and dictate how we will live that life.

 

Weren’t they given their own to do with as they please?

Why then do they feel the need to have mine also?

Why do they feel that my very existence was put here to serve only them?

That without them, I would have no life at all.

 

At what point did I decide that it was ok for them to take it?

Was this a conscious decision on my part?

That my wishes and dreams counted for nothing,

That my needs and my opinions no longer mattered.

 

How many people will I give this power to in one lifetime?

There were my parents and my siblings while I lived at home.

Soon appeared the schools and the churches with their principled rules;

The bosses, the nuns and the occasional lover.

 

I then married; adding a husband, the kids and a dog.

Then the in-laws, the out-laws, the neighborhood broods

My children found partners and soon they had kids

And I lay here and I ponder; would I have a change a thing?

 

Reviews

[Sheila Kline]

Oh my, I can surely relate to your write!! How many roles do we play, how many have set the course for our sails to follow! At times, it seems tooooo many, but then we stop and recognize their love for us, and the reason for their actions and we breathe a sigh of relief.
Wonderful insight!

[bre]

I enjoyed this poem very much, mostly because it's something I can relate to although I do not have a family of my own, I do have a mother, sibilings, friends, and a dog, i've recently graduated high school and started college and even though I know i still have a lot of time ahead of me (hopefully) I struggle everyday to find my voice in everything and what makes me happy. very nice write.
bre

[An Ordinary Woman]

Wonderful, thought provoking prose! I think we all have our little things. gifts, burdens, insight. I appreciate yours and am glad you shared it. Wonderful!!

[Lena]

Wow, how seriously familiar!
A life mostly lived for others; but until the last breath there is still time for self.
The dictates of society on the role one must play is only significant if we allow. Do something selfishly like go to school on line, publish your book of poetry or take a dance class; all things you can consider. It's never too late, until you die.
I lost my dad in April 2009 he was 77yrs old, my sister in July 2009 she was 54 yrs old, they both wanted to live more at the end, to do more things but it was too late. We owe it to ourselves and the dearly departed to live life for ourselves at some point in our life, while we can. My mom is now 76 yrs old and after more than 55 yrs married and all the other roles, restraints and obligations you wrote of, she is wishing that she lived more of her life for herself. It’s funny how we pass down traditions to the next generation. Ask yourself, what was passed down to you and what are you passing down? Your piece made me ask the same questions of my various roles in life.
I enjoyed you write, it made me think.
Lena

[Emily B]

I sit here in the dark and I wonder. . .

[Alias Fletcher]

In the last line, the "a" doesn't sound right, maybe "I" of "it"? (truly mine and would a change a thing). Its good to think about your life & I hugely enjoyed reading this, thanks for sharing, charly

[David Lewis Paget]

A nice little philosophical piece, more prose than poetry. A couple of edits - 'Was this a conscience decision on my part?' - I think you meant 'conscious'. Line 1 verse 4 - too many 'o's' in 'too'. The final line - 'would a change a thing?' Is that 'would I change a thing?'
With regard to the subject material, what's the old saying? - No man is an island! We are all, ultimately interdependent on each other, and as much as it grates at times, we don't seem to have much choice except to grin and bear it. The most irritating form of interference for me is from government, federal, state and local, with their petty rules and regulations, many of which seemed to have been hatched without recourse to common sense. I detest the fact that some petty bureaucrat can come up with some trivial regulation that will cost you a fine of hundreds of dollars, whether you are aware of the regulation or not. Your prose asks telling questions however, and perhaps gives us an indication of how we can avoid stepping on the toes of others.
David.