Lost in the City

I gaze unconsciously through smoked glass,

Encased ten flights above the asphalt,

Insignificant within this obscure tower.

 

Similar to a revelation, he soars majestically,

Circling on undercurrents beneath his span,

Waltzing on the wind in a leisurely minuet.

 

Bird of prey, what transports you to my world?

Concrete jungle with tainted air,

Nature vacant, paved with synthetic foliage.

 

Transport me to your stately mountains,

Liberate urgency upon sun-kissed outcrops,

Observing the world through an altered insight.

 

Reviews

[cartera]

The slightly depressive longing mood of the narrator is captured and transmitted to the reader very well, and for me, above all else, that is what this type of poetry is all about: the transmission of mood. This mood here goes beyond a simple longing for the countryside, one feels that she/he is living the consequence of a whole series of poor decision-making.
Good stuff.
ATB

[Tina Kline]

I like the image you create of a bird of prey flying amongst downtown buildings, perhaps looking for a pigeon, cities always have plenty of them for birds of prey to prey upon. Nice job.

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

The concrete jungle with its technological growth can never teach you as much as the wilds of nature bout how to really live... quite an inspirational poem.

[Steffi]

Very well written. Your word choice is splendid.
"I gaze unconsciously through smoked glass,Encased ten flights above the asphalt,Insignificant within this obscure tower." These were my favorite lines. The way you create an image with your wording is astonishing.

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Well-chosen words that provide a crystal-clear image in the mind of the reader. A very good poem!

Sal

[March Books]

Lena,
this is a very nice poem with very pretty wording.
I particularly liked; Waltzing on the wind in a leisurely minuet

[Salvatore Buttaci]

Your vivid imagery allows me to see every picture you word-paint line to line. I like your poem very much.

Sal

[Blue Sky]

Spectacular pice of work,
of they come soaring through our world,
your wording is amazing, wonderfully presented

[Tammy]

Very nice Lena..

[HoorayForUnderdog]

That is an excellent poem, Lena! Wow...can you imagine the view?!