I guess it doesn't matter now

I had a hunger for your eyelashes

on my stomach as you came closer

tasting me with no hesitation

it took my whole tiny heart

to pretend it was more than lust

 

I had a hunger no food could suffocate

sometimes I tried to drink until I felt full

but it didn't make my skin crawl like you

I got an ulcer which made me cough out blood

it burned like swallowing hot nails

similar to the feeling of you inside

of me for the first time

 

Remember that?

I had a hunger for freedom to be yours

only for a night or two

without complications

or old fashioned configurations

make you feel pain and love

and convince you to leave 

even though I never wanted that

I had a hunger that you tried to stop

with exhausted deep sweaty sighs

your mind created words without meaning

to push my own aside 

 

Rain swallowed my dry clothes

as you smiled in the rear-view mirror of your car

making me feel less human for

loving a monster I couldn't touch anymore

 

My daddy asked what went wrong 

I couldn't say how you tried to fold my skin

into creases and succeeded in a minute

I felt (in)complete and disfigured

F**k, I loved you 

I guess it doesn't matter now

that I'm still starving for you

Author's Note

I wrote it in five minutes and said it out loud, screaming every word.
It might mean nothing to you, but it means everything to me.
This is the bullshit of lingering feelings

Reviews

[Stanley Wilson]

great imagery i read this aloud to see where you were coming from. It was immense!!