That Awkward Moment When....

You break something of your friend’s that they didn’t know you took in the first place. Oops. Well first of all why the hell did you take it? Okay never mind that’s beside the point. The point is if you do decide to be a kleptomaniac and it goes awry, step away from the window ledge.

 

Because guess what. If you’re good enough friends that you can steal their s**t… they’ll probably be able to forgive you for breaking whatever it was. I mean unless it was their firstborn or something. And if you’re not good enough friends that you can steal their stuff without them minding yet, then you might actually be a kleptomaniac, in which case I wish you the best of luck in avoiding prison.

 

Should you end up encountering some form of confrontation with this person (which is likely), put aside your pride for a moment and realize that the other person probably isn’t really all that angry with you, but more confused. They want to know why you took their stuff. And how it broke. And when you will be getting them a new one (because if you don’t that’s kind of a douchebag move).

 

Time for a hypothetical situation.

 

Let’s say you took their guitar. You want to impress a man or woman with your fantastic talents of serenading (I would be impressed anyways). So you take this “special” friend of yours on a picnic in a field filled with sunshine and daises. Hey, a girl can dream. Well on this escapade, or sexcapade should you be a more adventurous individual, you accidentally drop the guitar into a puddle because you tripped over a rock while trying to find the perfect place to put the blanket.

 

Guitar ruined.

 

Well guess what… tell your friend that story and they will probably be laughing too hard at both your whipped-ness and your lack of coordination to be angry with you.

 

Plan B:

 

Call your friend before they get home or go see them at work and tell them you accidentally burned down their house. Keep it serious. Strait face. And then once they believe you laugh it off and say, “Just kidding! I just accidentally broke your guitar, but l’ll get you a new one don’t worry.” Give or take a few hours, or days depending on their personality, to allow them to get over the shock of the fact that they just thought their house was destroyed and then everyone should be happy again.

 

But if they actually are angry or if you happened to break something that was worth more than your life…. I suggest relocating to a remote village in Antarctica, population: 1.