Country Girl

 

 

 

Country girl will you come about?
As your mood is sullen and shy
The sun has burnt your skin to bronze
As your hair falls softly
In swirls of gold about your tears

Your lips are broken and ugly
Looking as dry as withered fruit
Telling me they are not for kissing
As then the silence takes us
Along an isolating route

City lights will not entice you
My dusty car will not take you there
Market streets cannot invite you
They are dismissed without a care

Country girl now you are talking
But all your words are for your horse
Although I speak, you do not listen
The ears of corn seem to hear me more
As they giggle in the evening breeze

The hands of my watch are bending
As they strain to reach the coming night
Time is working fast against me
As my futile pleas fall like leaves
Unheard in the dying light

Busy streets are not appealing
They are full of polluted air
Strangers walk them in silence
With nothing they wish to share

Your silver pail is full to overflowing
As water slaps about your feet
Waves of coolness begin to filter
In the restless and uneasy wind
While the moon and twilight meet

Country girl will you change your mind?
You are looking away so thoughtfully
The darkness is now all around you
As the storm rears its head
With an eye like yours that cannot see

Perhaps your landscape is too uneven
For my well heeled shoes

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Brett Moore]

Country girl now you are talking
But all your words are for the horse
Although I speak, you do not listen
Ears of corn seem to hear me more
As they giggle in the evening breeze

I love this stanza! So expressive and vivid.

My wife is a city girl and I am a country boy. She won the location argument so we have this conversation in reverse. I miss the quiet and sense of community. Both of which were in abundance and easy to find. Thanks for the words and inspiration.

[Pete Langley]

I somehow don`t think you are talking to a lady of the opposite sex, Leigh!!....but I can`t quite work out what - or who - you are trying to talk to!! .....I thought it might be a watermill with a thatched roof! Maybe you thought you might buy it, but decided you were too much of a Townie? P.

[Rafia ~ Yellow Girl]

A pretty interesting work, it runs a complete story or lets say tale of two people within a poem. :)

[Destinyxi]

I'm a city girl haha. This was a great poem. I might have to read it a few times to fully understand it. But from what I gathered, I liked. :)

[ANTO]

The rational internal dialogue juxtaposed with the lilting romantic verses work to great effect - they say to me that we all know that we would like to want something different but more often than not we accept our lot.
Well written my first friend

[Dayran]

A nice rhythm to the poem, like a peddler selling buns on the street calling out his wares. And then again it may resemble the passions of the man who went to live in the city but his heart is still in the country. Nice write Leigh.

[Leigh]

Thank you Dayran

[Dhaye]

The city boy meets the country girl...

It's not impossible that two opposite people attract each other. But it's not impossible that for a short time, they will find how opposite they are which will only create conflicts between them.

Maybe it's time to find someone who will be fitted for your city lights...

[Leigh]

Yes but would that make a good poem?

[Dhaye]

You'll know if you'll try it. LOL.

[Brett Pritchard]

I liked this.
Seemed to capture that yearning a man will always seem to have for that which does not surrender itself to him. Thus making it all the more attractive. Also romanticised nicely that hell which we've all undergone I'm sure, of a date just going hideously wrong as we clutch ever more frantically at straws of conversation and watch the person opposite us glaze gradually over into ignorance.

Nice work!

BP

[Dana Alsamsam]

to a city person, that illusive country girl will always hold some attractive mystery that is just so satisfying to crack. i enjoy how you didn't take the cliche approach of having her fall easily for the city boy and there's a happily ever after. instead you made it very intriguing by leaving the city boy hanging! very interesting work.