Country Girl

 

 

 

Country girl will you come about?
As your mood is sullen and shy
The sun has burnt your skin to bronze
As your hair falls softly
In swirls of gold about your tears

Your lips are broken and ugly
Looking as dry as withered fruit
Telling me they are not for kissing
As then the silence takes us
Along an isolating route

City lights will not entice you
My dusty car will not take you there
Market streets cannot invite you
They are dismissed without a care

Country girl now you are talking
But all your words are for your horse
Although I speak, you do not listen
The ears of corn seem to hear me more
As they giggle in the evening breeze

The hands of my watch are bending
As they strain to reach the coming night
Time is working fast against me
As my futile pleas fall like leaves
Unheard in the dying light

Busy streets are not appealing
They are full of polluted air
Strangers walk them in silence
With nothing they wish to share

Your silver pail is full to overflowing
As water slaps about your feet
Waves of coolness begin to filter
In the restless and uneasy wind
While the moon and twilight meet

Country girl will you change your mind?
You are looking away so thoughtfully
The darkness is now all around you
As the storm rears its head
With an eye like yours that cannot see

Perhaps your landscape is too uneven
For my well heeled shoes

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Brett Moore]

Country girl now you are talking
But all your words are for the horse
Although I speak, you do not listen
Ears of corn seem to hear me more
As they giggle in the evening breeze

I love this stanza! So expressive and vivid.

My wife is a city girl and I am a country boy. She won the location argument so we have this conversation in reverse. I miss the quiet and sense of community. Both of which were in abundance and easy to find. Thanks for the words and inspiration.

[Hester Vane]

This is very lyrical and beautiful! You have done a great job with the contrast in fonts reflecting the contrast from country to city. A lovely piece.

[Leigh]

Thank you so much

[Tate Morgan]

Country girls are some of the most unique they arent averse to hard work of labored pains of lament

[thyra]

a country girl is ever so sweet and charming. this poem capture's her epitome perfectly.

[TL Boehm]

wow those last two lines are especially profound. Well penned.

[Girl Friday (Sarah W.)]

I really enjoyed the different layers of this piece...you have the country girl and the city boy, and I liked the way that you differentiated between the two with the different fonts. This seems like a sad and bittersweet plea in a lot of ways...you want the girl, but you know that she will not fit into your world, just as you know that you will not fit into hers. Sometimes romance is just ill-fated. Happens a lot, I'm afraid. Well done...love the last stanza.

[Leigh]

Yes it is ill fated a lot because it is blind

[Zero_Edge88]

"The beauty of the sun and the sky so lovely in the summertime they bring about a breeze we see in the eyes of what our love is. Portrayed differently, connecting the dots separately they do come together like the clouds to pour down the rain. The buckets of which I filled my horses with. Troughs for the pigs they consume such edible food it brings out the raw idea that I am no longer in the confines of the concrete jungle.

Confiding with the goats their bleats remind me that they are more profoundly profane than of those of the city folk I mingle with on the daily basis. Meanwhile the sheep and I wholly woolly keep me away in the comfort of my nonconformity I believe I belong with these herd instead of the one I call my friends- sometimes.

Holding onto this straw I have, one of nature's greatest stalks I find shelter not in the trees but in the blue clouds I longed for when I was a kid again. For they remind me that even if the ocean cannot be brought here the waves of the rolling hills will remind me that I am the mere pebble rolling down to my peaceful sleep."

(Forgive my ways of looking at your work like this but I found myself dazzled by the way you wrote this. So instead of writing the literal girl I went on about the metaphorical scenery that is the countryside. I visited it when I was growing up back home and they reminded me of how beautiful it is to be away from the city and bask in the glory that is given to us in this green earth. Such beauty is indicative through your wonderful girl in the poem I found it truly amazing. Thank you very much for sharing! :) )

[John Alexander McFadyen]

Hi Leigh the first stanza is my favourite it has impact and drew me into a poem that has the classic feel to it. Nice descriptions painted in metaphors