Country Girl

 

 

 

Country girl will you come about?
As your mood is sullen and shy
The sun has burnt your skin to bronze
As your hair falls softly
In swirls of gold about your tears

Your lips are broken and ugly
Looking as dry as withered fruit
Telling me they are not for kissing
As then the silence takes us
Along an isolating route

City lights will not entice you
My dusty car will not take you there
Market streets cannot invite you
They are dismissed without a care

Country girl now you are talking
But all your words are for your horse
Although I speak, you do not listen
The ears of corn seem to hear me more
As they giggle in the evening breeze

The hands of my watch are bending
As they strain to reach the coming night
Time is working fast against me
As my futile pleas fall like leaves
Unheard in the dying light

Busy streets are not appealing
They are full of polluted air
Strangers walk them in silence
With nothing they wish to share

Your silver pail is full to overflowing
As water slaps about your feet
Waves of coolness begin to filter
In the restless and uneasy wind
While the moon and twilight meet

Country girl will you change your mind?
You are looking away so thoughtfully
The darkness is now all around you
As the storm rears its head
With an eye like yours that cannot see

Perhaps your landscape is too uneven
For my well heeled shoes

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Brett Moore]

Country girl now you are talking
But all your words are for the horse
Although I speak, you do not listen
Ears of corn seem to hear me more
As they giggle in the evening breeze

I love this stanza! So expressive and vivid.

My wife is a city girl and I am a country boy. She won the location argument so we have this conversation in reverse. I miss the quiet and sense of community. Both of which were in abundance and easy to find. Thanks for the words and inspiration.

[AprilRN1210]

I like the back and forth play in this one.. being a country girl, of course the title drew me in.. and some of the points you made, I can see myself saying.. the flow was nice and story believable.. would've liked a little more emotion and sass from the country girl, but that is just me I guess:)
overall nice job!

[Matching Socks]

i love the pleas, the contradictions, the longing.
opposites attract, but can they fill the need/the gap or will it become a power struggle to assimilate
sometimes it works with opposites, other times not so much... : (

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

I'm a country boy at heart, although I am able to relate to your plea, having lived in many cities (great and small) there exists a riff between the worlds. I find this to be a delightfully unrequited reach across that chasm.

[Ranger Nadaly]

Its cute. Naive, and cute.

[Kristin Lee]

I love all the beautiful descriptions in this one, its very rich with life.

[Kwiksie Ifediora]

Such a beautiful story. I can already imagine it as a song.
I love the detailed way you told of the lengthy conversation between both parties without a word being uttered. Also the feeling and emotions involved in the entire scenario is expressed brilliantly.
very nice and enjoyable piece here leigh.
thanks for sharing! :)

[Stanley Wilson]

a great work I loved the different fonts for the verses. had the desired effect

[gombeggar]

needs a public reading to bring out it's full potential

[Leigh]

I am flattered that you think so