Clouding Chat rooms

Clouding Chat rooms

A Poem by Lei
"

Enter my chat room, I dare ya! In love with the mind, a dreamer!

"
Foster my intellect, preside over my random thoughts, and amorphous my feelings.
 I like to dream. 
 It is impossible to fathom as the breath of the universe.
 What do I speak of with love?
The brain. 
 Even when you don't let me sleep.



© 2017 Lei


My Review

Would you like to review this Poem?
Login | Register




Reviews

S few points:

Don't talk to your reader, involve them, emotionally.

And aside from not knowing who might want shapeless feelings, "amorphous" is not a verb.

And finally, though you might have intent for the disconnected thoughts that intent doesn't make it to the text, so it's lost.

Sorry my news isn't better.

Posted 7 Years Ago



Share This
Email
Facebook
Twitter
Request Read Request
Add to Library My Library
Subscribe Subscribe


Stats

192 Views
1 Review
Added on November 10, 2017
Last Updated on November 10, 2017
Tags: Dreamer, dreams, adventure, universe, science, love, brain

Author

Lei
Lei

Los Angeles , CA



About
I've always had a love for writing, intrigued with the meaning behind the word. I believe writing to be great therapy, and so here I am! more..

Writing
Empty Day's... Empty Day's...

A Poem by Lei


Enigmatic girl Enigmatic girl

A Poem by Lei


Rhythmic Love Rhythmic Love

A Poem by Lei