The boy with the scars

The boy with the scars found relief in nothing.

The pain stayed with him like a terminal disease,

no matter where he went or what he did.

He was tired of the constant battle.

Gripping the handle with white knuckles,

tears streaming from his eyes,

his brain cloudy with thoughts,

he touched the blade to his arm.

Slowly he sliced down through the flesh,

blood running down his arm onto the floor,

like a red river,

carrying away the pain.

The emotional pain seemed to fade,

only to be replaced with the physical hurt.

To give himself the relief, even if only for seconds,

it was worth it.

No one knew.

No one noticed.

He didn't want people to know.

He didn't want people to notice.

The boy.

The scars.

Both, invisible to the world.

Both, no one caring about.

The boy was me.

The boy is me.

I am the boy with the scars.

Reviews

[Patricia Williams]

One of my really good friends cut. Shes doing better. I just want you to know, I too cried when I read this. Please stop, it really can't be worth it. Jesus loves you, and I know he cries every time you put the blade to your arm.

Please please please stop. I know it's hard; and really, I understand. I was my friend's sole confidant for 2 years as she got better. If you ever need to talk, I'm here for you. :)

And I promise, people care about you. They might not be the best at showing it, but they do. :) Heck, I care about you, and I've known you what? Like 2 weeks? You're a really great guy, and I hope you get through this.

[Legolas]

I'm really sorry I made you cry. I know.

I have stopped. I had severe depression for a year and a half. Last January I underwent several treatments of ECT and now I'm better:)

Thank you. I'm very glad I got through it. Thank you for the review.

[Patricia Williams]

Oh I'm soo glad! (you don't have to apologize :)).
It makes me so happy that you got better. It's a long hard road that not many make it through, I'm really proud of you. :)

I know all this is kinda late, but one can always use encouragement! :D

[Legolas]

Thank you:)

I am so glad I'm finally free of depression!

[Kristallo]

How intimately I know this routine. When I was younger, I did this often, because it was the only way that I could regain my sense of self. In those times, the staggering grip of depression's inner abyss is all the little girl who used to be me, knew. I like the way you versed this, and came out so openly on a subject few people are empathetic or even aware of, and is often taboo. I never had the courage to come out with my problem, I bottled it up inside until it reached a point where I could 'explode' all alone. Now that i'm an adult, I still handle pressure that way. Alone. I so hope you have at least one person that can comfort you in these times, and please be careful of who you open up to do- so they don't put you in a cage, metaphorically speaking.

[Legolas]

It wasnt my choice but my parents found out and took all my knives away. Yes I do have one person who helps me through it. She is very special. Thank you for the review.

[Baby Ricochet]

cutters. I went through a faze of that when I was a teen but it wasn't depression it was frustrating anger and thinking I was all hardcore and s**t. That was years ago and you can still see a few of the scars on my arms. The day I stopped was the day I walked into a Marine corps recriuting office three days after my 18th birthday and had an ispirational conversation with a friendly old Sargeant Major about how awesome being a Marine would be.THat conversation changed my life forever. Great poem, great flow, great rhymes, great job.

[Legolas]

Please dont hate us. Thanks for the review.

[Becky]

This is haunting and terribly powerful. The words you used left me sitting here staring at the computer for a good fifteen seconds. Wow.

Seriously. Wow is pretty much all I can say.

I agree with all the other reviews. Hurting yourself isn't going to make things better permanently. In fact, it's probably going to make things worse.

100/100 for the poem, not the story behind it. I'm so sorry you feel that way. Words probably don't make you feel any better, either, but they're all I have.

[Legolas]

Thank you. Thank you for your concern as well.

[Eve]

Sometimes our own pain can actually isolate us from the ones who truly do care very much, we all tend to hide our pain instead of consulting the source, youths are so emotionally tender but usually hide it so well that the ones who could help them can't even see it.

[Legolas]

That is very true. Thank you for the review.

[....]

Such an emotional piece, personal and deep.

[Legolas]

Thanks.

[RachelReaper]

The feeling of pain... gripping, choking, agonizing emotional pain in many ways worse than physical pain, but... to release yourself by physical harm... then don't you suffer emotional pain as well as physical pain, too? The feeling of release can be found in many different ways, through writing, or art, or doing something you love to do. Ending your pain is a feeling worth fighting for (even if you are growing tired of the battle), and I want you to fight for it every step of the way, but not like this. There are other ways to make yourself feel better and aren't harmful to yourself.
Sincerely,
someone like you, but found another way

[Legolas]

Thank you very much for you review.

[Kimberly "Melody" Carne..]

Poetry comes from passion within one. Poets being very passionate people, our passion has passionate sides...we are passionately happy, passionately mad, passionately sad and on and on. Like fire it can warm our hearts or scar our flesh. I love how you have given words to the emotion of an act most do not think to speak about. I used to do the same as did my daughter V.J.C. When pain hits a repetitive point and it hits faster than we can release we find a way to release it or bleed it out. I love your passion and your moments of release through your passion of poetry. Always remember this passion that pushes one to cut it a gift that must be justified by birthing life into your passion. I have learned to release my mind as a blade releases the flesh…my thought now flow freely as the blood once did…alas…peace. You are incredible to write as you do at your age. Let me know when you finish your book…still working on it right? Don’t stop!

[Legolas]

Thank you for your words and your compliment. It means a lot. Yes I am still working on my book and I will let you know when it's done. Thank you so much again!

[Kimberly "Melody" Carney]

I can't wait...and I will stay on you :) it's what I do if I know someone has something that needs to be in print. Push 'till it happens! Never stop even if you have to write/ re-write/ re-write again! That is normal.

[Legolas]

Ok thank you! I will keep pushing!

[Admiral Kirk]

I feel the pain, I feel the depression, I feel the darkness woven into this piece... Excellent, excellent work. Very well written, and very emotional. Your poem really gives one something to think about, doesn't it?

[Legolas]

Thank you for the review.

[Admiral Kirk]

You're welcome. :)

[demureminds]

Very emotional and painful poem, and although I can't relate to this feeling, the visuals you created were very effective in bringing readers along with you. It was also written very well. I liked how you didn't restrict yourself at all with this. It was like everything flowed out and the words just fit together. Great write.

[Legolas]

Thank you very much!

[Tai Ryens]

Ah, many can relate to this piece. Quite a melancholic and dark poem.

[Legolas]

Thanks Tai