I hate myself

Sorry. Im very sad right now. I need to get my anger out somehow without using a knife.

I never do anything right around you! 

I make you sad with everything I do!

I'm worthless.

I'm a failure.

Knives tempt me.

Ending my life would bring peace.

I never seem to make you happy.

I do everything I can.

I have a million plans on how to die.

Each one so easy.

You are social. I'm not.

You are smart. I'm dumb

You are right about everything. I seem to be wrong all the time.

I try so hard to please you.

Each time I fall short. 

You have a life of your own.

I just don't seem to be given much thought.

I cry myself to sleep, because I can't please you.

If you knew how much I tried...

I'm sorry.

I'm horrible.

Useless.

A loser.

Everyone knows it.

I have jealousy problems.

It's only because I love you.

I want you to be mine.

You'd rather talk to strangers than text me.

I'm sorry I can't be your light.

The person you would rather talk to than do anything else.

I know you are to me.

I put you ahead of everything I do.

A knife seems to be the only comfort I can think of. 

This will be another teary night as I lie in bed.

Thinking about you.

And how I can never please you.

Reviews

[Isabelle Faye]

I know exactly how you feel, trying to please a loved one but never managing to do anything right. I'm going to tell you something you've taught me... When you love somebody there isn't anything thing you won't do for them including change yourself if you think there's something wrong with you. But, in a loving relationship, you shouldn't need to change because your loved one should love you for who you are. The poem is painfully beautiful, every word piercing deep to the heart. I can feel the pain and despair seeping through the words and I feel it with you. Wonderfully written though the subject doesn't really suite the word wonderful...how about heartwrenchingly written?

[Legolas]

Thank you Isabelle.

[Deeper La'jik]

You captured dark emotions in a subtle but vivid way. I can truly empathize with you. the sense of the knife was lingering around my head as i was reading this (I read it a couple times). A lot of depth in your writing. Massive poem right here.

[Legolas]

Thanks.

[Caradoc]

Damn. This is a really painful poem. And this person who you try so hard for sounds like someone I would dislike, immensely. Again...so very painful.

It's well written though in its brutal honesty.

-Caradoc

[Legolas]

Thank you. I tried very hard for them but it was never good enough.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Wow, going through a situation or a phase such as this is major for anyone! It feels as if it takes over our lives, and nothing else matters but that one person on our mind. I really can relate to this poem! You done an excellent job conveying your emotions and feelings shining how you truly feel! It doesn't matter if you write about hating yourself since it's a lot better than picking up a knife. Believe me, later on you'll read this poem and laugh it off wondering why you even had these thoughts. I've done that so many times myself. You know why? I once wrote about a guy I thought I would NEVER get over, but then I met the best guy ever (recent ex boyfriend). I read over depressing poems when we broke up and I laughed because he wasn't as important anymore. You'll find someone that will love you for what you do best and also your flaws! Well done :)

Ashley Rivers-- Dream BIG and you'll win BIG:)

[Legolas]

Thank you for your words. I am sorry you had to deal with that. I don't think anyone could ever love me. Not with my issues.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

You're very welcome! It's okay I'm way over those guys :D No don't say that. God has a plan for every person on this planet to meet their one and only soulmate. You have a whole life ahead of you to find her too.

[Legolas]

I'm glad you're over them. I hope so. I just wish God would show me his plan soon. I need her now though. My heart aches for someone.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

I'm actually glad that I'm over them too! It makes life a whole lot better if you know what I mean. Yeah I always wished God made our hearts with a map leading us to the person we're supposed to be with for the rest of our lives. But no life's a lot more complicated and harsh than that sadly. I know how you feel. I've been feeling empty and lonely ever since June 29th. The day my most recent ex-boyfriend broke up with me. I 'really' know how you feel, dude. :( sorry!

[Legolas]

Yeah I kinda do. Yep, very sadly. I am so sorry. Wow, I'm kind of surprised you remembered the date. I am so sorry that happened to you. Thanks.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Well that's good that atleast someone does. It's alright though. Yeah haha, I might sound like a dork but I marked the day we started dating and when we broke up. Because he meant a lot to me. He's just an immature jerk anyway. But I'm glad that I have situations such as him happen to me, because it makes me more experienced, wise, and stronger :D You're welcome.

[Legolas]

Yeah. I get the feeling he is. What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Yeah exactly my point. Mhm, he just turned 14 and I'm 15 and going to be 16 in February! Hehe. :D

[Legolas]

Haha, that's funny!

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Yeah it really is. My daddy always made fun of me though :D

[Legolas]

Haha, a sense of humor. I like that:)

[Call_Me_Miss_Imperfect]

Haha, well thank you sir :)

[Speak in Silence]

Wow, I know how you feel. Good luck :)

[Legolas]

Thank you.

[Speak in Silence]

You're welcome :)

[Admiral Kirk]

Oh, I know how you feel. Everyone's always telling me who I am too. You'd think, of all people, I would know that. Anyway, great poem. I really enjoyed reading this. It is written well, and worth the read. Good job!

[Legolas]

Thank you very much.

[Admiral Kirk]

No problem. :)

[Pax]

very emotional, hope you'll get through this.

[Legolas]

Thanks

[TheMostSplendiferous]

This is beautifully written. I'm glad you're choosing words over knives. If you weren't here we'd be missing out on such a great writer! The only thing I would change is when you said, "You'd rather talk to strangers then text me" and "rather talk to then do anything else." In these cases, "then" should be "than." Despite these small errors, it was an excellent poem. It portrayed your emotions very well. Great job and keep writing!

[Legolas]

Thank you so much. I will change those right now

[Theresa]

You are a fabulous writer- this poem is lovely, but sad. You know how to bring words to life, just keep writing. As for yourself, you are a beautiful person. Don't compare yourself to another; we all have qualities that we envy in other people. I know what it can be like to struggle socially. We introverts are not appreciated :) We have a much higher EQ (emotional quotient). So really, we have EQ and IQ- pretty damn special we are!! Keep writing!

[Legolas]

Thank you. I have such a hard time with everything. My gf...id like to be the only person she needs. I know she is for me. Id be happy if i never talked to anone else but her. She doesnt feel the same way though. She talks to everyone!
And this stuff anout introverts makes me wonder if youve read the book "Quiet"

[Theresa]

Your welcome. Keep seeing the good in you-do some nice things for yourself, love yourself. Life is good :) no, I have not read Quiet, do you know the author. I love to read more than write, but I thought I should challenge myself.

[Legolas]

ok. No im sorry i forget the author.

[Nath]

Talk about it. With her. Let her be there for you when you need it. A relationship is not about one party pleasing the other, it isabout sharing love, joy and pain. I am convinced that your girlfriend would want to be there for you as much as you want to be there for her. So what if she also cares about other people? That doesn't necessarily mean you are not very, if not most, important for her. The only way to find out and get her to help and fix you, is by talking to her about the things that keep you up and crying yourself to sleep. I am sure she does not want you to.

[Legolas]

Thanks

[Nath]

Welcome

[Cole Hayley]

I can feel the sadness in the words. Its very heartstriking to be honest, it brings a tear to my eye. I hope everything works out for you.

[Legolas]

Thanks, me too