Defensive Positions

A war. A battle. A lover's quarrel. You decide.

 

 

 

Defensive Positions

 

 

The cannons bellowed

    With mouths spewing oblonged obscenities.

        Hurling bullets of blasphemies

    To strike down the offensive enemy.

Smoke (whisps of words) plumed

    Across the sky of this hearthly invasion

        Dropping acidic toxins conceived for devastation,

    Caught up only in self-preservation.

Hearts bleeding out, emotions unbridled

    Catering to weapons of destruction.

        Words meant as ammunition

    Fired with apprehensible intention.

Striking behind lines once shared.

    Now sharing in a mortared rage.

        Broken is the union caught within this rampage,

    This onslaught continues uncaged.

A victor, with shallowed finality, finds victory

    But no consolation,

        Only a fruitless condemnation

    And a white flag tainted with subjugation.

 

Legion

31JAN09

Reviews

[Katrina]

hit me as a lover's quarrel -- a little bit of war we all carry scars from.

i really loved this. honest. i really enjoyed 'mouths spewing oblonged obscenities.' i NEVER would've thought of that -- green with envy here, dear. anyway, enough about me. this was a really well written piece, you can tell you took time on it and just didn't throw it together -- not that spur of the moment pieces are always bad. but yeah. and i love the format!

great read. great write.

xxx

[just is]

This sounds like a lovers quarrell, I like this it's written very well. Love is wonderful as sometimes love can bite, this is powerfully written, like this.

[Kevin Vorshak]

This is a really cool comparison of a heated battle and a lover's quarrel. Bad things happen and even the winner finds it bittersweet. Nicely done.

[Gandré]

a great poem to to show how venom can reign just a short time. and, I am angry that word processor (MS Word) nor my another dictionaries by ifinger - found your word subjegation. I understood it as something what is under-ordered or under control I know this from Latin, but those guys just can continue make their money... and nobody cares. I wanna see how many Millions Bill Gates will offer to make this world whole again? Will he, when he can't talk about it? I believe, they lie to us! This world is going under and it is worse than 1928 when only Europe and America were involved... Nobody tell us the truth: They fear Wall Street and Dow Jones etc will break down. Yeahh! What should we do? I've an idea, what about continuing writing poetry?

Great poem, essence of venom, placed deliberately and it worked! I love your expression (u already know this)!

[DreamingLilacs]

This was really great my friend and I can't tell what it is exactly, but its clear to see there are no winners, so many a lover's quarrel then since there are never any winners there...unless you get makeup sex :)

[Brjden (Bridge-Den) Cre..]

The words! The words Legion, you definitely have the words. I love how you portrayed a fight between what I can assume is a husband & wife into a war! I'm not sure which is more deadly! Great wordplay and creative metaphors.

"Catering to weapons of destruction.
Words meant as ammunition
Fired with apprehensible intention.
Striking behind lines once shared.
Now sharing in a mortared rage.
Broken is the union caught within this rampage"

Great wordplay, great write....

[Ladysue]

It sure does sound like a lovers battle. You did have some really great lines in here. I thought it was an excellent piece of writing.

[Spit_and_Prayers]

I really enjoy the form of this poem. The way the lines go out and back in, almost like the firing and recoil of cannons. Well done.