Contradiction In Terms

Something goofy I just thought of. Not my finest, but a bit different. May add more later.

 

 

 

 

 

Contradiction In Terms

 

I'm an insomniac with narcolepsy.

I only drink Coke, but I only like Pepsi.

I'm a narcissist who hates the way I look.

I never follow the rules, but I go by the book.

I'm a god-fearing atheist because there are so many.

I fly by the seat of my pants, but I don't wear any.

I'm the never-ending story with a grand finale.

I'm best served chilled, but I'm a hot tamale.

I'm a jack of all trades who'd trade it all for some Jack.

I am standing my tallest when I'm flat on my back.

I'm a contradiction in terms (like military intelligence).

I'd choose one way or the other, but I'm stuck on this fence.

 

Legion

31OCT08

Author's Note

Hey! I was bored alright. :)

Reviews

[J. A. Svercek]

Nicely put. You did a good job of laying out these witticisms without overdoing the...man, I've forgotten the term already--without making the sentences follow the same exact structure (painfully) until it's basically impossible to sit through. Reminds me of "English is a crazy language" (I can't seem to find the author).

Thanks for writing,
J.

[HoorayForUnderdog]

Goofy ROCKS. In fact Goofy rocks so much that Pluto is jealous. I love this poem, Pigster. Line 6 made me spew my drink -- thanks for the laughs!

[Angelheaded Hipster]

Your boredom captured humanity, I think we're all a little guilty of this.

[Tobi]

I loved this, so original and interesting. Sometimes it s just the passing thoughts when we re bored that form the best ideas and creations.

[Flo_writer]

Lol, I found this funny and very creative. Loved the contradictions you placed within each line. You craved a very clever piece of art with this one. It was well enjoyed.

[Rick Puetter]

Dear Legion,

Very clever. So, "I'm the never-ending story with a grand finale." That's where it comes from. Knew it to be from one of your pieces!

Truly enjoyed "I'm an insomniac with narcolepsy"! The rest are sort of under your control, but this is the Universe telling you that you're a contradiction. Brilliant!

Very best regards,

Rick

[Dragon Witch]

I love the humor in this! it gave me a chuckle.Well written! My other favorite contradictory English term is 'The fire raised the house to the ground!' HEY? It is the strangest language, lol

[1809 Black Plague Decem..]

Contradictions, I know one that I told someone not long ago
I know physics yet I get my way about
I always enjoy your reads, ---mishel

[Marie Anzalone]

This made me smile- thanks!
I loved the dry, understated humor. My favorite line was "I'm a god-fearing atheist..."

[Dith]

Nah i dig the funny dualisms

[Clockwork]

Not bad at all lol. I agree that it is not your best, but it is a clever piece that puts a laugh in your day.