Death of an Immortal

Something to give thought to.

 

Death of an Immortal

 

 

 

Surrounded by this flood of blood,

Encompassing what I have become.

Baptized and bedamned, this fetid tide.

I, fetus, flushed with finality.

Delivered from womb to the tomb

I have lived this miniscule undeath,

For if one is not born, can one die?

An infant captured in infinity.

 

 

Legion

22AUG08

Reviews

[LadyLove]

Geez! That one hurt! I think you will have many answers to that question; for those who choose to flush away never consider the life known of yet unseen. And those who know the unseen is there consider it as alive. It's an emotional subject and given to debate with your question. I say where there is a heart there is life. But to some it is a best forgotten immortal who never had a chance to be in their hearts. I think where you stand on this shows clearly. Life is precious!

[William J Rimbaud]

I've read through a large amount of your writing and found that everything you write seems to be outstanding. Due to the sheer amount of reviews you've had on each piece I unfortunately can't think of anything constructive to add. So I will have to just have to settle for congratulating for being a brilliant writer.
(I decided to write this here because this poem is my personal favourite of your writing, so far...)

[[untitled]]

"For if one is not born, can one die?
An infant captured in infinity."

This is deep. I've read other writes relevant to the topic of abortion and they were quite gruesome. But you have penned this with eloquence, giving it more depth and meaning.

[Wondering Mind]

Deep, strong and thought provoking poetic expression. I admire your alliteration and flow.

[Sammie]

This piece really makes me think more of the fact that.. it's true. Everything in this, just paints such a picture, that's beautiful in an ODD sense. I really, really like this. My favorite lines are;

"For if one is not born, can one die?
An infant captured in infinity."

Good job!

[Deaths Cold Kiss]

this is an awesome poem its great

[Fran Marie]

I agree with Helen, one having the faith knows the answer~

a powerful piece ~ so very well penned~Fran Marie

[Ebs]

Great poem. I found it very thought inspiring. Good write :)

Ebs

[Christine]

A very powerful statement you have made with this poem. Great Write.
Christine :-)

[Helen Woodward]

Absolutely BRILLIANT!!! You have a wonderful mind my friend. You have created awareness and that is fabulous, you have also posed a question that is unanswerable unless you have faith, but then those with faith wouldn't commit such an act. Telling this in the first person was a great way to get your message across.
Kudos...
Helen :-(

[Seriana]

Wow Legion...what a commendable piece. A topic which screams to be heard of, yet people choose to ignore it. I like the way you presented this from "within". And elevating it all to the status of immortal was quite the genius punch to knock the reader off their feet and make them think about it. Nicely done. :)