Blood of the Scarecrow

Something a little darker than what I have been doing of late. Was going to be a song. May rewrite it again as one. Don't know yet.

Blood of the Scarecrow

 

 

  She tills the fields of regret

As a whisper of a woman scorned.

  Thoughts grown she'd rather forget

Of love's ambition never born.

  No reciprocation of her toil.

The man would not give willingly.

  Blood stains saturated the soil

As his heart was taken literally.

  Carving pumpkins into his chest

To keep the piece she wanted most.

  The rotting shell, a scarecrow at best,

Dangling lifelessly upon his post,

  Thus frightening off the feelings denied.

So question how does this garden grow

  When all happiness has withered and died?

When planting only seeds of sorrow

  Weeds and worries are all that will bloom.

Stalks the mind, high in the garden's rows.

  This harvest reaped, once sown way too soon,

Ripened in the blood of the scarecrow.

 

Legion

25July08

Reviews

[Chaos]

Ok...where do I begin.

There are so many wonderful things about this piece. I love your images, they brought that feeling of sorrow and regret to the forfront of this piece. Walking in a dead field, void of life and it's because of that sorrow that it strips the potential life from the ground. Well done!

We all shed blood from our mistakes and we all have to face them one day, but if in time we step outside of the person whom we forsaken, we can realize that the garden would grow again with forgiveness of our sins.

I loved the grey images also. These images pulled me in on the stump in the far corner of the field as I watched from a distance the pain you brought into existance with a word, a feeling and a phrase!

Beautiful!

Nice work.

[Periac]

wonderful image using the scarecrow.....one in which i have attacked before....the picture painted of her sorrow is elegantly painted by your flow....in paticular
"As his heart was taken literally.
Carving pumpkins into his chest
To keep the piece she wanted most.
The rotting shell, a scarecrow at best"
thanks for the request

[Zane Mathias]

Great Write. love the flow!!!! Keep up the good writes

[Lexxipotamus.]

the only thing i can say is that i loved this poem.
i have no other words :)

[Lorenn]

Very intense - appropriately set in the fall as all things wither like her unrequited love for the "scarecrow". One sentence flows into another as we visualize her wrath and regret. Your words are excellent for setting and maintaining the tone throughout. Thank you for a unique take on an age old human malady.

[nora]

woah. this is like, gruesome! lol, but really well written. the whole part about carving his heart out is really interesting, like she stole it even though he didnt want to give it.

"When planting only seeds of sorrow
Weeds and worries are all that will bloom."

that part is my favorite. its like widsom in a poem! it makes sense, and i just like it :)
also, the imagery in this poem is fantastic. i could see the blood soaking the feild, and the body hanging up like a scarecrow.
this is a really wonderful poem :)

[octane143]

wow the imagery is amazing. I have this picture show playing in my mind while I read it...three times! The flow is perfect and rolls of the tomgue (yes I read it aloud the last time!). I see myself as the woman, but having recently been scorned I suppose that's ok^^ It's wonderful to be able to relate to a piece and get lost in it. This is a beautiful work! Great write!

[Sean M. Addams]

very nicely done.... love the dark tone of this and the imagery is awesome and the flow is flawless in this piece.... very impressive.... fav lines...................The rotting shell, a scarecrow at best,

Dangling lifelessly upon his post,

Thus frightening off the feelings denied.

So question how does this garden grow

When all happiness has withered and died?

[Angel's Lady]

Very beautifully and eloquently penned...

She tills the fields of regret - Masterfully put!

[Windy]

Even though a bit gorey, it seems very sad to me. You did a wonderful job with the flow and imagery. I can just see it in my mind (thanks alot lol) good job, well done.

[BrightEyes]

ok - first - let's get the technical crap out of the way - this had a flow that brought to mind Poe - perhaps due to the darker content - the rhyme scheme fit this piece to a tea. Your metaphors are wonderful and paint images within the reader's mind. I realize this is only my opinion - but I read this almost as someone who chose someone whom she felt she could mold into what she wanted - only to find - that when you set about to change someone, what's left is just a shell of a being - soul-less, life-less - use-less in the end - leaving behind nothing but regret and unhappiness. excellent write.

*hugs*

laura

P.S. thank you for your review!