I found this quite an interesting piece. I have to agree with Rain about the flow. In the middle, I think you either need to go with giving the vowels as part of the stanza instead of making them as a subtitle, or eliminate them altogether.
"Stamina beaten down" ... definately my favorite line. It reminds of giving up trying to fight the inevitable.
i liked this one a little more. i can tell there was a distinct purpose behind this writing. this piece can apply to others more easily, too. i like the free verse style used here because it really exemplies how the laws of attraction don't follow a specific structured pattern, as opposed to being more ramdom and spontaneous.
Really interesting. Seemingly spare, but lots going on here, so much wordplay...and even letter and number play. This is a very clever piece of writing with more depth than one quick read reveals. It needs at least a few careful reads to catch and appreciate the many nuances.
I like the choice of words you use to describe how we feel when we think we are chosen or destined for something or for somebody -- "Controlled" "Captured", an inescapable grasp, and we struggle and fight against these feelings. It is as though individuality and togetherness cannot be held in the same hand...
To struggle against such Laws of Attract are found within the lines of your great poem as I read it, Balancing the Will, is the key to satisfaction gauranteed in my world anyway. Love, attraction, destiny pulling two, no matter what else they try and do, is part of the journey in most (u and i) lives from my experience. Love just doesn't happen, attraction kicks in first and foremost or there is no beginnings of love at all. A fine read and so good to read on this cloudy Cornish sunday afternoon. Smiling at you, Tai
I found this quite an interesting piece. I have to agree with Rain about the flow. In the middle, I think you either need to go with giving the vowels as part of the stanza instead of making them as a subtitle, or eliminate them altogether.
"Stamina beaten down" ... definately my favorite line. It reminds of giving up trying to fight the inevitable.
I write about various topics. Mostly I write poetry/songs. I took my screen name from a concept album/epic poem I wrote years ago titled "Legion's Legacy: Tales of the Damned" which was inspired by .. more..