Ode to a Bug

Ode to a Bug

 

Poor bug

Drowned.

At the bottom

It was found.

A short life

Shorter made

In this glass

Of lemonade.

I wondered of its dying thoughts

Or if it truly thinks.

Wish I'd found it sooner,

Before I'd finished my drink.

 

 

Legion

12APR08

Reviews

[Clockwork]

I like the overall irony with the bug's final destination being the drinkers mouth. It is an enjoyable piece with a nice dose of wit. My favorite lines were "Wish I'd found it sooner, /Before I'd finished my drink."

I would say that I felt line 10 was a bit rough overall. You set up that great thought about what was going through the bugs mind in line nine, but the flow is a bit off.

[Gaiamethod]

Haha very good!! I've often wondered about that!! I ran over a rat once in my car as it ran across the road and I wondered if it knew it was dead or did its little soul still keep running across to the other side!!! Of the road.........

[inhale]

i like this piece its short and quirky in the way that it shows a sort of compassionate view to a species who more often then not are stepped on quite frequently.

[Hannah Jane]

I love it!

[Pointblank]

Reminds me of something similar I've written.. I must dig it up. Lightheartedly written. I enjoy reading your thoughts and have pushed my opinions on u far too much. I'll keep reading though. You Keep writing.

[Periac]

clever again...you work has mockery and very clever set-ups....in which now i sit as aa fan

[Jacquelene Vanessa More..]

i'm not a fan of bugs but this is cute. i sometimes think about that myself. i'm like i killed the dad now what is his family gonna do!!! ode to a bug caught my attention right away. well atleast he was murdered in something sweet!

[O!]

hahaha....u made me laugh!!...bravo! hahaha

this was too cute.

x,
O!

[Buddy]

Yes! This is good. Wayward bugs have flavored and spiced more drinks than we will ever know :P :)

[J]

This made me smile, and also think about all those poor bugs who've ruined my drink at the time, haha.
Nice and concise with short, snappy rhymes...

[Master Morality]

Ha! I like that, poems that seem ever so slightly to be semi serious until he very last line and then a great punchline.