Assembly Required

Something I wrote years ago for Christmas. You'll understand it if you've ever lived through it.

Assembly Required

 

 

 

'Twas the noon of Christmas day

And all through the room,

Such a mess had developed

That could not be touched with a broom.

As I glanced about

At all the pieces that would not fit

From the kid's toys,

I started to curse old St. Nick,

When out from the driveway

Arose a tremendous clatter.

I sprang toward the window,

To glimpse what was the matter.

My foot came down heavy

On a screw I had missed.

I screamed and I moaned.

Boy, was I pissed!

I pulled back the curtain

And peered toward the clamor.

There stood my son

Beating his new bike with a hammer.

With screw still in foot,

I raced for the door.

I tripped over my tool box

And fell, face first, on the floor.

With one eye on the carpet

I spied a lone brake pad.

After finding my dignity,

I questioned the lad.

He said, "My bike's trying to kill me,

So I'm getting it first."

I wanted to tell him,

But I only made it worse.

As I looked over the dented torso

Of that bike with no brakes,

I told him, sincerely,

That Santa had made a mistake.

 

 

"Never again!",

I vowed and I swore.

"I'll follow directions,

For now and evermore."

"Be wary, my friends,'

I plead, through this tick I've acquired,

'Of the two most dangerous words-

Assembly required."

 

 

Legion

17Dec98

Reviews

[Gretle]

Yes,, I liked this one.
Somebody had the right idea.
This has a nice rhythm to it.

[Silver_Moon]

Thank you for entering this piece in A Christmas Poetic Story.
'Tis one story people should learn from it. :D

[Seriana]

Legion, this is hilarious! I loved it. :) What a great little piece. I can totally imagine this scene. And your rhyming and telling in the tone of "Twas the night before Christmas" was priceless! Nicely done!

[Nazarea]

Loved it...and can totally understand...My husband won't put anything together....
Great job.

[Enigmatic Amor]

Definitely a case of rhyming being paramount. Loved this piece. Perfect alternative to the original. lol