Jekyll or Hyde?

Jekyll or Hyde?

by Leggolas

“I Love You”
“I Hate you”
“I want you so much”

“I need you”
“Just let go”
“I long for your touch”

“Kiss me”
“Resist me”
“Take”
“If you must”

“We’ll keep it platonic”
“I’m dripping with lust”

“Undress me”
“Don’t stress me”
“Possess me”
“Don’t fuss”

“You’re my all”
“Just don’t call”
“Don’t want to discuss”

“You’re awesome”
“You’re irksome”
“Especial”
“and then?”

“Can’t lose you”
“Don’t speak to me ever again”


Hot and cold
up and down
back and forth.
Why?

Enthusing
Bemusing
Amusing
Awry.

So can anyone help me,
for I still can’t decide,
was my relationship with Jekyll?
or was it with Hyde?

Reviews

[...]

... amazing ... this verse has a distinct rhythm ... the unique rhyming pattern makes the rendition very enchanting ... and the way i see it ... this verse is immensely poetic ... but brutal ... it slices, it cuts, it shreds ... very skillfully ... it asks "someone" all the questions that need to be asked ... and more importantly ... that need to be answered ... i'm inspired ... this is an excellent example of how very few words can be employed for a powerful effect ... and this verse is dramatic too ... it's racy ... it's conversational ... it's intense ... and i think the title has been justified rather well ... an awesome read ... :) ...

[Indyinn]

Very good this one is! A nice little seesaw ride!

[LunalitSol]

Completely loved this. I'm a big fan of contrasting elements like those involved in this and utterly admired your knack for consistent rhythm, something I've never really managed to accomplish, at least not as thoroughly as you have. Fantastic work.

[Samuel Dickens]

From my experience, I'd say that your relationship was with a typical woman. (hormones, you know) Very clever, Leggolas.

[Cassandra Gestalt]

I'm going through something like this myself... This is beautiful and frustrating.

[RosylnPeaches]

Awh thats fantastic!!! :) Seriously great and superb ryhming!

[ashley]

I really enjoyed this poem. It was very clever and well written. My only suggestion:
The last line, "or was it with Hyde?" doesn't flow with the rest of the stanza. The rythm seems off. I would change it to "Mr. Hyde" and see how that sounds. Now the stanza reads:

"So can anyone help me,
for I still can't decide
was my relationship with Jekyll?
or was it Mr. Hyde?"

Personally, I think the rythm is better this way, but it's your poem. Anyway, a great write! Good job! :D

[Persephone Bones]

Nicely writen.

[MJ Durston]

Wow. Glad I got around to reading this! The rhythm was INCREDIBLE, my heart and eyes moved with the words, I wasn't a fan of the Ninth stanza, it seemed very out of place to me, it disrupted the flow of the entire poem, I almost didn't finish. However, I still read it, and I LOVE it. It was amazing, great idea, great ending, great everything.

Keep Writing,
Melissa

[southernlady]

you describe todays relationships, with the stoke of a pen very well done.

[Jared]

Hmmmm.....There is no doubt that this is good. But was does it mean? I'll be going to give it a ponder. :) well written!