Dark Secrets

Lights Out... You can't find what you can't see. I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized

DARK SECRETS

 

These eyes Tainted and Scarred,

The Heart restless behind bars,

A Soul lost between then and now

 

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,

A Shadow within materializes

Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,

Unleashing its fury for all to bear

 

Strength it feeds from those who care,

Twisting and turning words and stares

Form is now what I once was,

It’s Poison if any… One of Love

 

Shadow now I, fight I try...

For those I hurt, my words are lies

Understand I cry, I feel your pain,

Ball and Chain, I am restrained

 

Pleasure filled, Darkness slips away,

Face left to those I've betrayed

Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,

Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand

 

SHADOW lingers and laughs within,

Your LOVE inside, he cannot win

 

Legacy

Author's Note

What is your Dark Secret - visit and enter yours today http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-Volume-1%2C-Book-2--Dark-Secrets/13548/

P.S. Re-read and between the lines

Legacy

Reviews

[Luis Gabriel]

I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!

Great job, keep it up!

[zee]

This would make a great song.

[Audrey Owens]

Very dark and very powerful. Inviting.

[TL Boehm]

there is a 'faith' aspect to this....not quite sure how to say it - especially in that last verse...a forgiveness offered by the extension of a scarred hand. Well done.

[.]

I love your poem, your style of writing is very truthful and flows nicely throughout x :O)

[J.E. Stroud]

I really enjoy the construct of this!

[Tandin]

oooh thats a cool writing

[Of_The_Sand]

Very powerful. (Not sure I understand the "between the lines" comment you made in your "Author's Note" box.) I really enjoyed how raw the emotions are and how it fit together in a sort of hypnotic rhythm. I also really enjoyed your diction; it made your piece feel very... not sad, but more as if the narrator were longing. Great work, and I understand the emotion behind writing it; I feel it all the time. I give you a 93/100

[Defhan]

Such deep meaning! Beautifully done!

[Andrew Reeves]

Great job! I like the abstract imagery of the poem, along with the juxtaposition of despair and pleasure. The only question I have concerns your capitalization of some words. For example, in the opening line, "Tainted" and "Scarred" are capitalized, as is "Poison" in the last line of the third stanza, just to name of few. Is this intentional?

Overall, I enjoyed this very much!

[Sarah Ott]

a love a poem with layers. so fun to peel them all. nicelydone.