I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!
I love the symbolism of the face, the window from which others see us and think they know us. The way you construct it as a shadow that hides your true inner feelings is excellent. Very well written!
Very brave poet friend. I rarely, if ever, attempt writing about my " secrets and sins"...Not because of any inner fear, But cause there's people on here that know me and of me LOL.
On a more serious side...I truly felt pain...maybe perhaps hope to come out about being known. Yet I sense that this isn't about the person written about and told of in regards to them 'worrying" about having hurt/and hurting the ones closer to the inside fury!
I find you to be a GREAT Poet, And an amazing writer rolled into a precious Gem!
Keep the ink flowing, Gentle Inklings come along into fine poetry today!
Hugs and Real tears from one Poet to Another Poet, AnnaMaria!
I saw in this someone who is either imprisoned behiond bars or their life is such that it feels as though it were imprisoned. Sadness, sorrow, and full emotional impact came through your words. Perhaps it is calling to a lost love, a painful reminder of one that had once been your closest soul mate and now oyur memory that will not allow you to rest.
Perfectly written and I do so love the style of the write which fit the write exquisitely
For me, your poem speaks to the shadow side within all of us-that part of us that we don't like so much-that can be violent and not so very nice. It speaks to how we wrestle with that side. Loved it.
Wonderful work Legacy! it expresses the twisting pain of lovers separated in differing lives but unable to wrench the love from their hearts. Feeling anothers pain can be a terrible drain, but this is the chance we all take when allowing love in...I say allowing, but to be honest with you, love is so powerful that a mere mortal cannot hold it out.
Loved it.
What is my dark secret? I would tell you but I would have to kill you afterwards!lol
What came to mind was a man on death row or someone convicted of a crime, blaming their other self or the loveless shadow for the crime. On one hand it reads like a love poem, and on the other like a confession.