Dark Secrets

Lights Out... You can't find what you can't see. I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized

DARK SECRETS

 

These eyes Tainted and Scarred,

The Heart restless behind bars,

A Soul lost between then and now

 

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,

A Shadow within materializes

Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,

Unleashing its fury for all to bear

 

Strength it feeds from those who care,

Twisting and turning words and stares

Form is now what I once was,

It’s Poison if any… One of Love

 

Shadow now I, fight I try...

For those I hurt, my words are lies

Understand I cry, I feel your pain,

Ball and Chain, I am restrained

 

Pleasure filled, Darkness slips away,

Face left to those I've betrayed

Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,

Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand

 

SHADOW lingers and laughs within,

Your LOVE inside, he cannot win

 

Legacy

Author's Note

What is your Dark Secret - visit and enter yours today http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-Volume-1%2C-Book-2--Dark-Secrets/13548/

P.S. Re-read and between the lines

Legacy

Reviews

[Luis Gabriel]

I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!

Great job, keep it up!

[D. Gabrielle Jensen]

Shadow now I, fight I try... Poetry is ultimately intended to be read aloud. Commas indicate places where the reader should pause, periods for full stops and ellipses for an even longer pause than the full stop, to add drama or suspense. I think this line would be more effective Shadow now, I fight, I try... The other way is choppy and makes me wonder what it's supposed to say. Also your five rhymes in the middle (Unaware, prepare, bare, care, stares) changes the cadence of those lines so they stand out away from those around them... Perhaps that was the effect you were driving for, if so, well played. The content is moving, you've done well with that.

[Verslayer]

This is powerful and intelligent poetry...I think we all have dark secrets and you've skillfully taken the lid off of this one for all to see.

[chrisdavid]

This lived up too its title! Extremely dark and disturbing, but brilliantly penned. The rhyme and flow was excellent, the imagery good also. A fine piece of poetry! Well done.
Take care, Chris.

[Alicia Hirshey]

This was absolutely amazing. I love how you portrayed the pain of two lovers being separated.

[LUCIDMUSIC]

Feels like you're seeing your grown self for the first time but can still the shadow of who you once were. Reluctant at first, but pleased in the end for who you found and what life and love have given.

[a burnt omelette]

A powerful piece you have here. Thanks for sharing.

[A little tipsy]

I'm at a loss for words s you talent is overwhelming. It's a great pleasure to read, so many poems are just simple writes and to find one that holds meaning is a sigh of releaf. Well done Legacy .

[unknown]

Don't really have a dark secret but i have dark thoughts.

[Amyrain]

I really enjoyed reading this, it has great flow and rhymes. Except for the first stanza. That stanza doesn't flow nor rhyme like the rest of the piece. I love the story line as well, very deep thoughts. Well done writer.