Dark Secrets

Lights Out... You can't find what you can't see. I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized

DARK SECRETS

 

These eyes Tainted and Scarred,

The Heart restless behind bars,

A Soul lost between then and now

 

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,

A Shadow within materializes

Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,

Unleashing its fury for all to bear

 

Strength it feeds from those who care,

Twisting and turning words and stares

Form is now what I once was,

It’s Poison if any… One of Love

 

Shadow now I, fight I try...

For those I hurt, my words are lies

Understand I cry, I feel your pain,

Ball and Chain, I am restrained

 

Pleasure filled, Darkness slips away,

Face left to those I've betrayed

Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,

Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand

 

SHADOW lingers and laughs within,

Your LOVE inside, he cannot win

 

Legacy

Author's Note

What is your Dark Secret - visit and enter yours today http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-Volume-1%2C-Book-2--Dark-Secrets/13548/

P.S. Re-read and between the lines

Legacy

Reviews

[Luis Gabriel]

I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!

Great job, keep it up!

[Kathryn]

I like the eminem style way that your lines rhyme (rhymes within each line as well as at the end) and the general emotions portrayed are beautiful. Great work :)

[BeetleBug]

It seems everyone has given you a great review. Except me.

For starters, the theme isn't exactly new material. Plus the ryme isn't the same threwout. I wouldn't call it a masterpiece, but

it isn't completely horrid.

[Mika Haruna]

this was an absolute stroke of genious, i loved reading this peice of work, a great read, i really loved it

[Pumpkinspice]

Thank you for inviting me to review your work. This is very powerful and deeply emotional. It's hard to disguise or mask LOVE. It's the one thing, dark or light, that can-not be hidden. It rears its face in one form or another. This is really good, but if you don't mind..The word Bare in the second stanza.. Shouldn't it be bear? Since bare is the past tense of bear. Or did I read the stanza wrong. Is it past tense? Let me know. I'm kinda new to writing, and want to learn all there is to learn about grammar. Thanks hun. Pumpkin:)

[Renay]

Very powerful.

[Robert E Cano II]

I love between-the-line reading and writing. :)

This poem is fantastic writing. I remember a similar journey, or perhaps journies, in my life. I am now married to the woman who last pulled me from the pits of despair, from the shackles of a past too shameful to bear. There is a freedom in the end of this write that is most compelling, and a definite goal for those who do not know such a feeling. Great job!

Robert

[Kena]

Absolutely amazing!

[Dragon]

I love your poem. You put a lot of thought into this and when you take your time you can make anything good happen in your work. I really enjoy reading this.
:)

[Juliet]

Amazing! Really really beautiful your last line, SHADOW lingers and laughs within Your LOVE inside he cannot win was hauntingly gorgeous please keep writing like this :)

[theopenbook]

it truly shows what you mean. the dark shadows that claw the heart from inside and makes you helpless till love comes to rescue:) dark secret! i loved it:)