Dark Secrets

Lights Out... You can't find what you can't see. I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized

DARK SECRETS

 

These eyes Tainted and Scarred,

The Heart restless behind bars,

A Soul lost between then and now

 

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,

A Shadow within materializes

Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,

Unleashing its fury for all to bear

 

Strength it feeds from those who care,

Twisting and turning words and stares

Form is now what I once was,

It’s Poison if any… One of Love

 

Shadow now I, fight I try...

For those I hurt, my words are lies

Understand I cry, I feel your pain,

Ball and Chain, I am restrained

 

Pleasure filled, Darkness slips away,

Face left to those I've betrayed

Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,

Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand

 

SHADOW lingers and laughs within,

Your LOVE inside, he cannot win

 

Legacy

Author's Note

What is your Dark Secret - visit and enter yours today http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-Volume-1%2C-Book-2--Dark-Secrets/13548/

P.S. Re-read and between the lines

Legacy

Reviews

[Luis Gabriel]

I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!

Great job, keep it up!

[Jo]

wow--your rhymes seem to come so effortlessly, while still maintaining the stretch and strain of the theme.

[gothicchica]

i loooooved it my favorit part wast’s Poison if any… One of Love
becuase love is a poisen and its addicting (psh like i would know)

[Time.]

Your writing, is what I hope to one day achieve, such power..
Power that takes you places, I never get bored reading your poems.
"Tainted and Scarred, The Heart restless behind bars"
I loved that amazing imagery.
An truly amazing piece!

[lostboy]

memories of something we thought we had and so thought we lost...if we never had it we didnt lose it,.

[Averlei]

Wow I am seriously amazed. This sounds really close to home.
"These eyes Tainted and Scarred,
The Heart restless behind bars,
A Soul lost between then and now"
I think everyone has felt this way everynow and then.
I really love it. I feel like I can honestly relate to your writing.

[XXXXXXXXX]

Cool!!

[GreenQueen]

This is definitely a deep poem, I think that my first pass on it was a bit fuzzy, then I read it again and I really saw the picture. It's quite an expression, I especially like this part...
"Shadow now I, fight I try...
For those I hurt, my words are lies
Understand I cry, I feel your pain,
Ball and Chain, I am restrained"

An interesting piece, one worth reading over and over again. Smiling and scarred, your eyes understand is another good part, It seems to represent the pain we go through in the moment, then in the aftermath there was realization of the helplessness of the person who was shadowed. Very well done, as I can see it got a lot of reviews, and I'll say this, they were well-deserved! :)

[sugar]

That was so great, it makes my writing look like s**t hahah :)

[Star Wolf]

This chilling and painful poem sounds to me like it speaks of someone possessed by like a dark force. Awesome job on this!

[amdc101]

That is amazing. I love the word choice.
I interpreted it as someone kind of lost inside their own head, just watching the world go by as a shadow who is never seen or involved. Loved it.