Dark Secrets

Lights Out... You can't find what you can't see. I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized

DARK SECRETS

 

These eyes Tainted and Scarred,

The Heart restless behind bars,

A Soul lost between then and now

 

I’ve become a clouded face, unrecognized,

A Shadow within materializes

Unaware, there’s no time to prepare,

Unleashing its fury for all to bear

 

Strength it feeds from those who care,

Twisting and turning words and stares

Form is now what I once was,

It’s Poison if any… One of Love

 

Shadow now I, fight I try...

For those I hurt, my words are lies

Understand I cry, I feel your pain,

Ball and Chain, I am restrained

 

Pleasure filled, Darkness slips away,

Face left to those I've betrayed

Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,

Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand

 

SHADOW lingers and laughs within,

Your LOVE inside, he cannot win

 

Legacy

Author's Note

What is your Dark Secret - visit and enter yours today http://www.writerscafe.org/contests/-Volume-1%2C-Book-2--Dark-Secrets/13548/

P.S. Re-read and between the lines

Legacy

Reviews

[Luis Gabriel]

I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!

Great job, keep it up!

[Sarah]

I really loved the "shadow now I" stanza, the repetition of the word "I" was like an epic conclusion to the poem, almost like a finale or a drum roll or something - it just sounded great in my head. The second to last stanza ("pleasure filled") didn't seem to flow as well - the lines are a little long, and they don't fit the pace of the previous stanzas. Maybe it's just me. Either way, enjoyed the read!

[Douglas Lyle]

Plenty of emotion behind this, I'll give you that. Not my ideal for poetry. I think poetry should let the reader consider and choose his path through the writing instead of being forced down a chosen path.. How long have you been writing? I'd say keep it up and try to use metaphors and simile-imagery, even humor if you can. :)

[cecil]

your emotions flow between the lines,,the love and friendship that holds you together is a true bond,,LOve has much sadness at times as well as anger,,to be betrayed is hurtful and always remembered unfortunately,,although in time,,as they say,,,time heals all wounds,,unfortunately sometimes not fast enough,,,Blessings..Cecil

[C. Mclaren]

Intense stuff. Deem emotional self struggle, which we can all relate to. A lost of identity, very human concept. Good shot at trying to convey what rattles the mind, especially when placed under the pressures of not knowing where you are internally.

[Carrollann]

Very dark, that's why I was drawn to it by the title. Love and sadness ironically go so well together as they do here in this piece. I like the last line; it leaves me thinking, wondering what could possibly be so bad that Love cannot overcome it. Very nice I would say.

[Cari Lynn Vaughn]

Very intense and interesting. Thanks for sharing.

[Second Chances]

I liked how concise you were. Your poem has a great emotional impact. I like it! :)

[*~Imperfectly Me~*]

This is a great piece. I truly enjoyed reading it. I think that you created a great piece that inspires emotions while reading. I liked the ending stanza and it shows the power of love. This had a great rhythm to it. Great Job!

[Abigail]

this is a beautiful poem, it made me feel slightly love sick. it has alot of depth and it is raw and vulnerable, i loved it.

[Miss Mary Jane]

I dig it.

"A soul lost between now and then."

I've always liked the different ways people express regret.