I love the minimalism! I love the shortness of the statements to really pack the punch of the emotion displayed! The only constructive work I would do is maybe some constructive imagery to tie the emotions to something I can see or feel, it feels alot like there are so many things felt blending all together I don't know where to start!
The poem "DARK SECRETS" delves into the depths of a troubled soul, grappling with the weight of their inner darkness and the pain they've inflicted on others. The narrative unfolds as a battle between the speaker's true self and the Shadow, a personification of their destructive thoughts and actions.
The opening lines paint a vivid picture of the speaker's emotional turmoil, their eyes "Tainted and Scarred," reflecting the damage inflicted upon their spirit. The "Heart restless behind bars" represents their inner struggle, trapped within the confines of their own self-doubt and regret. The "Soul lost between then and now" captures the speaker's disconnection from their authentic self, haunted by the ghosts of their past mistakes.
The Shadow emerges as a menacing force, taking control of the speaker's actions and words, transforming them into a "clouded face, unrecognized." This transformation symbolizes the destructive power of the Shadow, distorting the speaker's identity and obscuring their true nature.
The Shadow feeds on the pain and vulnerability of those who care for the speaker, twisting their words and intentions, leaving behind a trail of hurt and betrayal. The speaker recognizes that they have become "Poison... One of Love," their misguided attempts at connection causing more harm than good.
Despite the Shadow's grip, the speaker is not entirely consumed by darkness. A glimmer of hope emerges in the form of their connection with another individual. This person's unwavering love and understanding provide a beacon of light, offering the speaker a chance for redemption.
The Shadow attempts to resist this intrusion of love, lingering and laughing within the speaker's mind. However, the power of love proves to be stronger, offering the speaker a path towards healing and self-acceptance.
The poem concludes with a sense of cautious optimism. The Shadow may still lurk within, but the speaker has found solace in the knowledge that they are not alone. The love and understanding they've experienced offer a lifeline, providing strength and hope for the future.
I enjoyed this on so many levels, I've been away for years and have finally returned but this is a surprise I'm glad I made it back to read.Just need more towards the visual.
"Strength to hold on, You reach for my hand,
Smiling and Scarred, Your eyes Understand"
--I feel like these made me breathe. The first stanzas were constricting me, holding me back and gripping me like I cannot breathe. Then I go to these lines and I felt alive. I felt hope and light. This is a wonderful poem. It invites me to look into the positive facet of everything.
This is good. Reminds me of a single mother struggling with how to raise a child alone. Comma usage may need a tweak. Overall, well written poem with good subversive imagry.