~ True Love ~

 

 

 Tr.u.e. L.o.v.e.

 ‘Bridges’ yet crossed - or even burned

 

That afternoon in autumn,

 

 the Sun began releasing ‘Her Tears of Hope’,

 

 Standing there embracing,

 

looking up, as a light mist caressed our faces…

 

True Love, Indeed… the strongest, matched by no other

Lost in attraction, steady ones breath, are you listening?

Interpersonal love, shaped of elements of fallacy -

Spawns the birth, now borne of Love or Infatuation?

 

Jane Doe: “When we talk, you're always attentive to everything”

John Doe: “I Love how you cook, clean and treat me like a King”

 

Love begins of innocence, nothing short of harmless

Craving sense of mystery, passing boundaries, no expectations

Desire to please; you do not want to possess…

Engulfed in Flames of shadowed passions, your heart at rest!

 

Jane Doe: “You used to dive in, exploring my shores”

John Doe: “You appreciated, respected my Love. Now…you Expect so-much-more.”

 

Choices made, perceptions viewed, push to shove…

Could you spend your life, 24 hours a day with the one you Love?

Can Love last forever…? What do we 'choose' to sacrifice…? Exactly…  

Explore the nature, understanding the function of Love.

 

Jane Doe: “Ashamed I am, concealing pain with silent cries �" you never cared”

John Doe: “You thrive on mind games of torment and despair”

 

Pain vibrates, shattered dreams, crossing lines of gray

Tomorrow, soon will deliver an 'envelope of dismay'

Rhythm of dance, life once treasured, now lost forever…

To each left scars, unseen, chiseled within their soul...

 

Jane Doe: “I guess you never really loved me at all!”

John Doe: “Go ahead and take another picture off the wall!”

 

 

 

On first glance, Love (First Love, for the second time, third or so-on)

We believe this is {True Love}…

 

Is this possible?

Do we have an idea of their favorite color, number, T.V. show and/or what makes them (tick)?

No~… We seem to judge the visible aspects such as appearance, smell, things outwardly that pulls us in.

 

Can Love really be defined?  Does True Love ever fail us?

 Are 'We' willing to work through differences together? (Not by looking in front of 'Us')

 We seem to exclude ourselves �" that’s right… This is a one-way-street, right…?

Love...in all facets -

A development of ‘who we are'...Want to ‘be’...What we can ‘do/be’ for others…

SILENT PROMISE 'ONCE MADE', LEFT DROWNING IN A SOUR GLASS OF WINE... 

Does True Love 'Ever Die'...?

  

 ~Legacy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Reviews

[Tania Leigh]

A unique format made this fun to read.....the stanzas in red, to me, are like a narrator speaking his piece, and then his voice fades away in time for the vignettes of dialogue.

I can easily see this acted out on a stage with spot lighting alternating between Jane & John Doe and the narrator, who is off to the side.

A wonderfully insightful write about the cycles of love and human relationships.

[Robert]

Legacy,
It's not certain I'm the best person to review your poem. This type of poetry is far removed from my own writing - Lyrical Poetry. To me poetry creates an image that, upon each reading, something deeper reaches light. As such, today's verbiage, couched in non-timeless language, and using artiface of creative spacing, font, etc. leaves me far at sea. Having listed these caveats, I will endeavor to respond. The best line of the poem is "Silent Promise 'once made', left drowning in a sour glass of wine..." Now that is Poetry. The image is unforgettable and speaks volumes in just those few words.

[MorganLyn]

Really good write. I have no critisism. Mainly because I'm not one to really judge. It just made me realize some things that I hope in truth never happen. Don't mean to put a downer on your writing because it was awesome!!...its just that I dread the thought of love not lasting when you find it...sometimes that's all we have to hold on to..
thanks for the read.
-D

[Shadow]

Love is always real and you came as close as one could to defining the reality of the human condition and all the torments and expectations we have on each other and our relationships

[Donald Cole]

i just moved or i'd print it to help. hard unlessI can see all of it. My idea would be to create a 'pivot point' a decision to fall in love or fall out, I prefer to look at reconciliation of differences, what got us here and how do we go on with this.
in relationships, we grow together or grow apart
a bit intense here
how do we go on
Don

[Raven]

That was an awesome read. I don't like to read to many poems, but I liked that. Nice job. Very nice job.

[Valorie J. Shearer]

Legacy, I loved it! The labeling is right on because it shows the evolution of the relationship! I believe that true love does fail us, and unfortunately cannot always be a constant but we cannot hold someone's love against them either. You just can't help who you love! People give up too easily today, instead of trying to rekindle that love that was once there. They just throw in the towel, and move on to what they think are greener pastures. I do not believe that true love ever dies; it just becomes lost in all the potential one has for another. Take care~~~

[Cupcaker Baker Maker]

"Choices made, perceptions viewed, push to shove�
Could you spend your life, 24 hours a day with the one you Love?
Can Love last forever�? What do we 'choose' to sacrifice�? "

All of that is kind of awkward; it's too prosaic, and "perceptions" just doesn't seem to fit at all, for some reason.

The first two lines of the last four-line red stanza are excellent; the rest of the stanza is fine, a bit cliche but that's to be expected.

The last five grey lines, I just can't get into at all. There's something that just seems terribly forced about them, though I do love the parenthetical counter-point form.

i don't understand why you quoted some phrases; Especially "Envelope of Dismay", which would be much more effective if it were a full on metaphor, not shrouded by those distracting quotes.

As for the truth of it--I get the feeling that this is party a critique of the concept of true love, but it reads more like a condemnation of true love as we think it exists, not of the way we think of it. If it really is the way it reads, eenh, pretty standard fare. If it's the more subtle critique, it's a lot more interesting, and I think you should write another piece about the realities and nuances of other kinds of love.

[El din Cal]

Wow! I must say, I love your style. Your poem tells the never ending story of this thing called love. I love you today, i hate your frackkin guts tomorrow!

[Diana Elizabeth]

I think true love can die...

'Go ahead and take another picture off the wall!' I recall saying something similar to a person once upon a time. I felt bad for them...but I enjoyed reading it. I especially liked the conversation between Jane and John Doe.
It was a great read. I usually have a tough time understanding poems. Don't know the reason, really.

[Linda Crawford Ortiz]

The story itself runs on a good rhythm. Your phrasing is good with word choice and line length. Personally, I would eliminate the Jane Doe and John Doe labeling. I think it's unnecessary. The fact that a conversation is one held between a man and a woman is apparent. I would also end with another pair of spoken words...I can't say what they would be, but I feel they should be identical...ideas spoken or thought out loud. i.e. "Goodbye, my love" or "Where did we go wrong?"...you have to decide if you choose to utilize my idea. It would bring the story 'full-circle' so to speak.