Busted Sheen

Dogs on leads, like kites

straining to the ground

tufts of clouds in grass

 

darker patches brood

in the sullenness of weeds

like storm-clouds

shifting with every footstep

 

Soccer Goals, muddy pools

Mirror prints, shards of Sky

 

The beauty of death, like ripples

In perfect sheen

Wrecked tranquility.

 

Shards are cutting

The sky is bleeding,

dripping, pooling

into the prints of passing souls

and their pets

 

Mud.

Home.

And jeans by hand,

washing:

my sheen`s broken

Reviews

[John]

A very interesting impressionistic approach that could be interpreted as an attempt to describe the spirit's bid for freedom. The kite is prevented from escape by its lease and the ball is trapped by the net of the goal. I like the rapid succession of images, the staccato pace of the poem. It ends on a downbeat note, but the machine will be repaired and the cycle will start all over again. I really enjoyed this piece. Thanks.

[L.Edward]

Wow, thanx muchly for the review. I never considered the cyclic aspect of it before. Cheers for the insight.

[Mother Maggie]

I sense the soul gazing upon all these images of the ordinary and familiar and perceiving in each one a representation of the desire to release from the obligations and trappings of their existance to recapture a feeling of wonder...to grasp once again the new and unfamiliar

[Pryde Foltz]

Yeah, I hate doing laundry too. lol. There is seems a huge gap at times between the ideal of family life and the reality--a lot of hard work and even more love. Or was it just a trip to the park? Loved this one.

[L.Edward]

Cheers for avin a gander. This is actually a jolt from the vault. About ten or more years ago this was written. At the time I was a single, poor univesity student living in a semi-demolished bachelor party pad, studying Art and Design. Lamenting the absence of cash, a steady weed supply and a decent washing machine.

[Pryde Foltz]

So I got the laundry right, anyway.

[L.Edward]

Spot on! You are forgiven for thinking that this was recent. I should have mentioned that!

[Emily B]

unexpected loveliness, beauty in the rough

[L.Edward]

Cheers muchly Em! That's an accurate description of the person I believed myself to be at that time ( ten years ago or more ) when this was written. Perhaps you saw that reflected within the words.

[MikeV]

A very enjoyable read! :) very descriptive

[L.Edward]

Cheers brother! Peace.

[SHEEMA HUQ]

An intriguing sequence of imagery, crafted with spectacular pace, power and grace in your choice of words, memorable writing

[L.Edward]

Thank you kindly.

[Sami Khalil]

The sky is bleeding red but your poetry bleeds the buts of nature . Vibrant colors of freedom and reaching heights or excellence ... :)

[L.Edward]

Cheers for the read. Many blessings.

[Sami Khalil]

Back to you too...Have a great one...:)