The Interweaving Chapters: I :The Waiting Is Coming

    The writing is the only thing that keeps these translucent pieces of myself from running away. It's the only thing which keeps me functioning. It will never leave me, and I could never even begin to imagine taking my leave from it. Now 5:14 in the am. I've just pissed for the seventh time in like two hours. Sleep is only a dream and I am so hungry, food sounds disgusting. I'm off somewhere with you again. I'm letting myself flee. It doesn't matter how long I'll be awake because I can never come back to a single point of consciousness. I live in all realms at once. I'm fucked.

    I wish I could write less. I wish I could sleep. I wish I could eat without forcing myself to think I won't have to. I wish I could love you forever.
   

    "Why don't you just talk to me then? We've always had gifted communication?"
   

    Because talking is talking. Loving is loving, and I have no idea in this world of what I'm talking about. But I'll do it for you. You are just that beautiful. Now this has become redundant. The meaning itself is so meaningless. I fake everything. Son of a b***h I'm hungry. I itch all over. Maybe I should see someone. I'm not talking about a doctor. There won't be any left. I'm talking about a person of great significance. If anyone had any significance.

   

    "How 'bout me?"
   

    I guess I'll do another paragraph. Some more indentation. Some more letters. Can it be about you?

   

    "Of course."
   

    Can I be mean?

   

    "If you want."

   

    Here it dawns. The end of all ends. Except it's not the end, is it? Didn't we decide that last night? Were we not just discussing that? I don't remember. The days are running together like rotten ink and I have no where to be.

   

    "That is a contradiction to how you keep walking. You know once we start, we don't won't know when to stop?" 

    You're right. I am a contradiction. And baby so are you.
    You are making this difficult for me.

   

    "How?"

   

    How? Why? Yeah, you don't know any more than I do. I say, I wish we were here doing more than this. Now I'm cheesy. I said lame. You said cheesy. That's fine. F**k it.
    Here it comes.

   

    "What?"

    You'll see.

   

    "When?"

    You'll see.

    I guess you won't want to talk anymore after I'm mean to you. The taxi will be here soon, but I guess you won't exactly keep me company while I'm on the clock with your silly conversation. It was silly you know.

   

    "Yes. I do. But I loved every word. And I could never stop talking to you. It isn't allowed."
   

    I could never imagine a conversation without you.

    Sirius is a long way to go.

   

    "Yes it is."

    Let's not go. I don't feel like going there anyway. Just said it 'cause it was up in the front of my head. Right beside you. Right beside them. Right beside all of it. And all of it...

   

    "...right beside you?"

   

    ...yes that's it! Now you get it! Now the pieces are running. I hope you catch up with them, and not them with you first 'cause they will destroy everything about you and all you have left; they will! In exactly the same way they have me. No penetration. No expectations. Waste my time, and you can find contentment in this one, simple truth:I will stay here forever with you to watch where everything else goes.

    I am the very thing you look forward to killing. I think the same thing. You know they will want us to eventually. Don't you?

Don't answer that.

    The taxi's arrived.
   

    "This is frightening even for you?"
   

    Yes, but not frightening enough.

   

    "I can see the logic in that."
   

    Now you really get the points.
   

    "I'm catching them little by little aren't I?"
   

    Yep. Glad to be of service.
    You will look at me different after this moment, won't you? Yes, you will. But the difference will have to come from me. It's all inside of you. It's all up here...now point to your head and get in the taxi.
    Take off your clothes.

    The seats looks nice with them spread out on it, doesn't it?

   

    "Indeed."

    I'm glad you like them, but guess what?

   

    "What, my darling?"

    It doesn't happen with guns and bombs and flame and consumerism. This skin...it's all yours. Now we take it with us and move up...up and away!

    Anyway, no. Not with war. War is part of it but not the final blow. This will be so much bigger; a better show.

   

    "And you don't think I know this? You're stoned."

    "It will be hell to stay after it happens. We've got each others minds to mend before we can go and a record to keep for eons after. It is what we agreed to."

    Yep. And after this, you won't want me around. And I won't want you gone.

   

    "Oh my sweet, I plan no leave of you when we're finished with this. If I did leave, what would you miss most about me?"

    It wouldn't be so much about me missing you as just missing you as you are now, my love. It's hard to explain. We're together forever, only not in the same way we are now. Human. Fragile. Vulnerable.

    I'm wondering whether or not I should change the subject; whether or not I should move on. Skip down. Scribble more on this paper. Surprising I'm still here sitting in this cab. I'm so used to walking.

   

    "Plenty of walking ahead."
   

    I don't want more. Roll down your window please, you pretty thing...One more.   
   

    "You know walking will be easier now."
   

    Here it comes. Wait. Can you answer that for me?

   

    "What?"

    The phone.

   

    "No. You don't want to talk to them."

    Yeah, you're right as usual you. F**k you.

   

    "Well now, there was no reason for that."

    I did it for comedy. I'm sorry.

   

    "I'm happy to see it go."

    "You?"

    Am I happy to see it go?

   

    "No, you're not."

    But it has to end sometime. I've got no reservations. Besides, It's gone for them, but we haven't lost it. Only our rest. As long as we never go back or speak to them again. Like you said.

    "Yes sir. You trust your woman."

    "You know we'll make it out of this."

    "I'm happy to be spending more time with you than originally thought on this planet. We have much more to experience from one another."

    Right you you. Uber smart. You know I'm just a little scared?

 

    "I do. I am too." 

    We're almost to where we need to be.
   

    "You don't sound too sure."
   

    Well, I am. Hopefully that's enough.
   

    "For now."
   

    Time is coming closer. Usually time floats beside us and all of creation. Today it comes forward. Out of the pond. The murk. To collide. To intervene. Today.
    Stop. That'll work. Turn off the car.
    Here it comes. Get out with me and watch. We're here. I'll write only bits of this.
   

    "Here it comes."
   

    Yes. I know. I'm looking in the same direction as you.
   

    "It's all so bright. Hold my hand."
   

    Okay.  
   

    "Almost here."
   

    It starts this way? Huh. Never would have thought it...look at me.

    I love you so much baby.

    "And I love you. I'll see you in reverse."