No Secrets

I shall not hide a secret from you, for you may be my best-est friend...though, I do not know you; but you shall know me.

I lay on my single-bed, face in the pillow - I wanted to let it all out with just a howl; how hard could it be...? But it was - difficult. My eyes were redder than the blood I bleed. Thoughts ran through my mind - evil thoughts, but they were not new. I had heard a few stories of kids of my stage attempting suicide by swimming out into the deep blues until they could no more, then drown. But most of the time their attempts would fail. Suicide. In and out that word ran through my mind. I began developing a severe headache. How could she have done that to me? My own mother. Forbidding me to attend the Easter mass. Yes, I was late, but so what, at least I would be there. She wouldn't even make an attempt to attend any of the masses. The bi-... never mind. Calm down. It's only one mass she'd forbade you to go to. 'No, what if it is just the first one.' No! Do not think that way. 'But she told you right in your face; "it is no use going to church when your heart is in a bad shape."' Yes, how does she know that? She has committed more sins than me. No, shut up! 'She hit with the wooden pole of the broom. Twice.' So what? 'And she whacked your head more than once.' I don't care. 'But you should. ' It was my fault. I shouldn't have talked back. 'But all you said was "I just need to put on my skirt." and she became furious and began beating you.' But I did not get hurt. 'Yes you did. Your thigh, it is pain, isn't it.' Shut up! Go away! 'You expressed it in your face.' What! 'The anger. The pain. The grief. You wanted to kill yourself. You wanted to kill her.' Please, no...I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

Author's Note

:)