Dreaming past awake

Making the change that is omnipresent in the red glow
Of the sky that held us
And there is wonder in sound
Bringing me back down with dilating irises
And bent knees
And the waves upon waves of green grass

I am the only settling that I know
And it is in these memories that have kept me
More awake than in dreaming

Reviews

[Jeff]

I liked it. It's a little off as far as the flow but it works.

[N. Scott Cohen]

I like the idea, but your line breaks create weird rhythms that causes the lines to not flow. Also, sometimes it's good to use vague phrases like "i am the only settling that I know", but it doesn't really resolve into any concept. Keep up the work.