Titian

A story in which i am creating, so far i have written only 3 chapters, it's a slight experiment to see if any of you enjoy it, if so then i will carry it on.

Titian

Chapter 1; Introductions

You don’t know me, and I do not know you however we all share a purpose, one singular purpose or perhaps many. As some of us try to convince ourselves that we are different from the rest, we cannot deny our human nature, we are all one in the same, it’s the choices that we make that define us. You will learn that my choices have lead me down this path, I am who I am today because of them. In this story I hope that you will understand my point of view and my feelings about the actions I make, the choices I choose.

Chapter 2; Beginning Of My Life

I was never a bad kid, I just had bad luck. Fate seemed to place me in the worst of situations, my childhood was unforgiving, my parents died when I was at the age of ten in a drive by shooting spree by a local gang. This experience had an effect on who I became, but we’ll get onto that later. My story begins when I was sixteen, I was young and often considered detached from society, I just didn’t buy into the whole idea of trying to be someone I obviously could never be. It was a cold day and I was walking back from school, snow littered the streets like a white sheet. I began to wonder how much longer I could stand being in the freezing cold, my body wrapped up in a simple hoody over my school uniform, from out of nowhere a cold projectile slammed into the back of my head, this caused me to stumble as I was walking thus, I fell to the floor. Forcing myself up to my feet, I turned to see in which who had thrown the snowball at me, I was not surprised to find that the boy who had thrown it, who was in fact known as the school bully, in other words “The biggest douchebag in town.” I turned my back to him, I wanted to avoid a confrontation with him, of course he was much stronger than me, and if I took him head on it would be suicide. Another snowball landed behind me, this time falling short of my head, I carried on walking, ignoring the provocative slang the Bully and his cronies where shouting at me.

I don’t live in the worst home in the world, but by far it is not the best. Arriving home, cold and wet from the snow, I stood shivering in the main hallway. My foster mother known as jean, called down to me as I stood dripping in the hallway, moaning at me to not make a mess. Jean is a nice women and I slightly feel sorry for her having to put up with my crap, she adopted me when my parents died, which I suppose I should be grateful for. Leaving my shoes in the hallway, I dumped my bag down by the side of the door, too lazy to carry it upstairs with me of course. Lumbering upstairs, I went straight into my room, too pre-occupied with what was on my mind to hear jean speaking to me, probably asking about dinner, but I wasn’t really hungry for anything. Entering my room the clothes where strung everywhere on the floor, a laptop lay on my desk with paperwork littered carelessly all around it, I’d ignore everything else and move to my laptop, I’d turn it on, logging in to my profile and begin to access the internet browser.

Reviews

[Mathias Winters]

I like this. There's something about the writing style that is intriguing, and I found myself interested immediately just because of the style. There are a few things that you might want to try though.

I would add some dialogue to this. Dialogue balances out a story with the description and keeps it from getting boring. I would also keep talking about the situations in the story, and not make them one simple paragraph. The event with the bully probably could have been lengthened out more, just to make it a bit more interesting.

I like the character development. The character seems very interesting. I also like how you say things in the story. It has a distinct style. The phrases and word choice add to this well.