I Remember

A poem

Oh, let the days unending

Race, running faster; quick flow.

For souvenirs and raucous cheers

I yearn.

Oh, let the joy soon ending

Linger and loiter and grow.

For tasty beers and long careers

I rejoice.

Oh, let the days soon ending

Creep, crawl, and slither so slow.

For lost frontiers and wasted years

I mourn.

Oh, let the pain unending

Dry away, fly away, go.

To bitter fears and acid tears

I surrender.

Author's Note

Does it work? Is the meaning clear? Is there any way I can make it better?

Reviews

[Barbara Walker]

I like this piece very much! The only suggestion I have is in regard to the third stanza. The extra "and" in the second line, made me stumble a bit when reading it. I like it better without the first "and."

[Aethereal]

You’ve written a beautiful poem here that has inspired me to write another version with more or less the same intent, one which you may keep for yourself as a gift. My poem could not have been written without the guiding spirit of your original: I added some of your magnificent lines for emphasis.:

Remembrance

May timelessness unending
for which I yearn
never go away.

(I long
“for souvenirs and raucous cheers”)

May joyfulness unending
to which I turn
be my guiding ray.

(I wish
“for tasty beers and long careers”)

May waning days unending
of great concern
slowly creep away.

(“I mourn”
“for lost frontiers and wasted years”)

May painfulness unending
that I can’t spurn
up and fly away.

(I yield
“to bitter fears and acid tears”)