I Love You!

I Love You!

A Poem by LawrenceRaybon
"

An experiment in shape poetry...

"

I love you!      I love you!

I love the way you make me smile

I love the way you make me laugh

I love the way you make me feel

Wait, you’re leaving me?

Because loving you

Shouldn't be

About

Me?

© 2014 LawrenceRaybon


Author's Note

LawrenceRaybon
Let me know what you think!

My Review

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Reviews

Like the heart and poem had nice pacing and truth behind it

Posted 10 Years Ago


Haha .. lovely and amusing at the same time :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Its kind of sad that the person left because the other expressed how they felt but it was towards them

Posted 10 Years Ago


Congratulations on being in the top ten of the first "Promote Me!" contest.
Your poem is a witty reflection on love.
Voting closes in a week.
I invite you to join the group "Promote Me!". Your piece will be accepted into the library, and should you win it will be featured.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Ha perfectly done and I definitely like the structure of how you perfectly shaped it into a heart!

Posted 10 Years Ago


Hahaha, that's very cute! I don't have much to say because shape poetry is usually more about the shape, but I do think that the 5th line ("Wait...") could be worded differently, although it is fine as is.

Posted 10 Years Ago


1 of 1 people found this review constructive.

HAHA. The ending was fantastic. Add that to the clever layout, and you get a marvelous piece. Sometimes shorter poems say it the best, and I believe this is one of them.
It carries a great message about love and relationships as well. :)

Posted 10 Years Ago


Haha. This was clever.
Took a pretty dramatic turn.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Cleverly written using the rights words to create a heart shape. I liked the ending because it was totally unexpected.

Posted 10 Years Ago


Hi, Lawrence.
Well...what do you think? I've read a few of your poems, and liked all of them. This one, I like the effort you put into the heart thing. I do like poems about unrequited love. Have written a few meself. Having read you before, I'm wondering if you might be pulling my leg with this one. :)
Rick

Posted 10 Years Ago



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633 Views
15 Reviews
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Added on April 16, 2014
Last Updated on April 16, 2014

Author

LawrenceRaybon
LawrenceRaybon

Jackson, MS



About
Hi! I'm an avid reader who loves to write. I also love helping others who are serious about improving their writing! My critiques are in-depth and honest, no ego stroking and I expect the same wh.. more..

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