Adventure into the Unknown

Please note that this story is a bit confusing unless you follow who's talking when. I tried to make it so that Person B speaks after Person A every time. Just a stupid little thing I decided write.

Friendship is a funny thing. It starts out when two people are shoved into a similar situations and that leads to small talk. The small talk is the first little seed of friendship. But what seed will grow without water? The water comes after the small talk; jokes, laughs, smiles and a sort of funny way of thinking. This thinking is what leads to the seed sprouting. This sprouting is the beginning of a friendship. After a while, or maybe not, the sprout grows up into a full-fledged flower and both people are enjoying the benefits of this flower; chiefly, friendship. Over time, this friendship leads to a sort of mutual agreement that is never spoken aloud, but understood nonetheless: You scratch my back and I’ll scratch yours, you lend me money and I’ll lend you money, you save my life and I should probably save yours. It’s the little things in life that count, you know?

            But as of right now, I was willing to commit homicide with my best friend being the intended victim.

            “I can’t believe you got me into this.”

            “I can. It’s totally believable.”

            “Was crashing the plane really necessary?”

            “Probably not but it was a really crappy plane anyways.”

            “Let’s rephrase that. Was crashing the plane into a volcano inhabited by primitive tribesmen Hellbent on sacrificing us to said volcano, necessary?”

            “Eh…you worry too much.”

            “We’re standing on the cusp of an active volcano! How can I not worry?”

            “Deep breathes, silly goose. I got this.”

            “You said that when we hijacked the plane. You know, the one you crashed.”

            “They should’ve paid me to take it off their hands.”

            “How could they pay you? You robbed them at point-blank with a water gun that looked like a pistol!”

            “Trivial details. They probably stole that money. They were a drug cartel, after all.”

            “Yeah. Were. Until you set fire to their coke stores, blew up their meth labs and then STOLE THE PLANE WITH ALL THEIR WEED.”

            “No wonder that plane smelled funky.”

            “That was because of the fire that got started in the back cargo area when you accidentally fired off the flare gun.”

            “Wasn’t that where the weed was?”

            “Yes.”

            “No wonder I feel weird. Am I high?”

            “Did you breathe in the smoke?”

            “Do you have any chips?”

            “You’re baked.”

            “I’m a brownie?!”

            “Dear god….”

            “How may I help you, my child?”

            “Shut up.”

            “Oh. Ouch. You hurt my feelings.”

            “I don’t care.”

            “You doooooo.”

            “Fine. I do.”

            “I told you so. Hey! Those friendly natives are back!”

            “They’re not friendly.”

            “Aren’t they though? They swarmed us and hugged us when they saw us.”

            “They were taking us prisoner. They’ve tied us up and now we’re going to be thrown in to a volcano.”

            “Oh. Yeah. I forgot. Haha, sorry.”

            “Don’t worry about it.”

            “I wasn’t going to.”

            “I know you weren’t.”

            “You know me so well!”

            “Unfortunately.”

            “Ouch.”

            “I’m sorry.”

            “Are you?”

            “No.”

            The chief, painted with garish reds and smoky blacks and bright yellows approached us, chanting in his native tongue.

            “What’s he saying?”

            “How should I know?”

            “I dunno. You’re the smart one.”

            “That’s obvious by now.”

            “It’s not my fault I’m high.”

            “Yes it is. You shot off that flare gun.”

            “Oh yeah.”

            “What’re we gonna do?”

            “Huauuauau dinkinininanka tropapapapa!”

            “What the Hell.”

            “Shh! I’m trying to communicate in their native language!”

            “You don’t speak their native language.”

            “So? It worked in France. Yeeteeteeteet!”

            “You speak French.”

            “So? Nyguauauauauau!

            “YOU DON’T SPEAK THEIR LANGUAGE.”

            “I’m still not seeing your point.”

            The tribal chief pulled out a roughhewn, stone dagger and approached us slowly, still chanting.

            “See what you’ve done.”

            “Guahgugugugu! No, what’ve I done?”

            “He’s going to kill us before he throws us in, I assume.”

            “Oh. That’s nice of him.”

            “No, not really.”

            “Are you sure?”

            “I’m positive.”

            The tribal leader slid the knife between the ropes that tied us together and yanked it up. The ropes went slack and we saw our chance.

            “I got the knife! Back, back you cretins, back!”

            “Wha--? How’d you get that? Wait…that’s not even their knife!”

            “I know. I’ve had it on me since we left Mexico.”

            “You…you’ve had a knife this whole time.”

            “Sure did. Didn’t think it’d much use till now.”

            “I’m going to kill you.”

            “Good. I’m losing my high. Are you sure you don’t have any chips?”

            “Just run.”

            We disarmed the tribal chief and took his knife before sprinting down the mountain, through a humid jungle and out onto a deserted beach.

            “That was fun.”

            “Shut up.”

            “What’re we going to do now?”

            “Shut up.”

            “Oh dang, that’s pretty gosh darn beautiful.”

            “What is?”

            “All that lava and ash and what not.”

            “Huh?”

            “That volcano we were on. It just erupted. Watch out for falling body parts.”

            “You’ve got to be kidding me.”

            “No, why would I joke about that? Maybe we should’ve let ourselves be sacrificed.”

            “Is that a boat?”

            “Where?”

            “Down the beach a ways.”

            “Oh, I hope so! I love boats!”

            “Then let’s get it and leave this stupid island.”

            “Last one there’s a dead tribesman!”

            “This is not the time for games.”

            “It’s always time for games.”

            “Shut up.”

            “You say that a lot.”

            “I mean a lot.”

            “Why do you hate me?”

            “I don’t hate you.”

            “Then why do you tell me to shut up so much?

            “Because you need to.”

            “So you hate me.”

            “If I hated you, I would’ve left you after we fled from Japan with that jewel you stole.”

            “You say that like it was a bad thing to do.”

            “It was a national treasure.”

            “So? Now it’s a me treasure.”

            “You sold it to get information on the drug cartel.”

            “Oh yeah…for a national treasure, it sure doesn’t sell for much.”

            “You sold it to a beggar.”

            “He had good information. We found the cartel, didn’t we?”

            “He led us down a dark alley and then robbed us with a banana.”

            “Those things are dangerous. Do you know how to sail?”

            “Just get this stupid boat into the water. We’ll figure that out next.”

            “Okay, okay…jeez. Chill. It’s not like it’s life or death.”

            “It is life or death! Do you not see that lava!”

            “Yeah. Ain’t she a beaut?”

            “I don’t know why I allow you to drag me with you when you travel abroad.”

            “You do it because you love me and I make your life more interesting.”

            “Get it in the boat before we drift off.”

            “Alright, I’m in, I’m in.”

            “Do you know how to row?”

            “Do you?”

            “No.”

            “Yes.”

            “Then row.”

            “I’ll teach you. There’s even a little ditty that goes with it.”

            “I don’t want to hear it.”

            “OHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Row, row, row your boat….”

            “I said I don’t want to hear it.”

            “Gently down the stream…!”

            “I said I don’t want to hear it!”

            “Merrily, merrily, merrily, merrily….”

            “What did I just say.”

            “Life is but a Dream!”

            “Are you done.”

            “I’m just getting started! Round two, everyone!”

            “I swear to God, I’ll throw you overboard.”

            “Fine. I’ll stop. Grumpy Gills.”

            “Thank you.”

            “Row, row, row your boat!”

            “Stop it.”

            “Pah. You’re no fun.”

            “I just want to die in sweet, quiet solitude. Please.”

            “You’re not going to die.”

            “With you, I am.”

            “No, you’re gonna be safe!”

            “We’re adrift in the middle of the flippin’ ocean. How can we possibly be safe.”

            “Quite easily.”

            “Would you please stop being so stupid.”

            “If you opened your eyes you would see what I see.”

            “What is that you see?”

            “Open your eyes and find out!”

            “Just tell me.”

            “Nope. Not till you open your eyes.”

            “I’m not going to open my eyes.”

            “Yes, you are.”

            “No, I’m not.”

            “Yes, you are.”

            “No, I’m really not.”

            “But you really wanna see this.”

            “I really don’t.”

            “How would you know what is it that you don’t want to see if you don’t open your eyes?”
            “Because I know by the way you sound.”

“What do you mean?”

            “You always get excited when there’s something dangerous to try.”

            “It’s not dangerous.”

            “It must be.”

            “It’s really not. It’s quite fun, actually.”

            “So you say.”

            “I do say. They’re having fun.”

            “Who’s ‘they’?”

            “The people, silly. Open your eyes and you’ll see them.”

            “If I open my eyes, will you shut up?”

            “It’s a possibility.”

            “Fine.”

            “I told you that you’d like it.”

            A huge, hulking cruise ship dominated the horizon. Cheering people and bright windows and sparkling lights and colorful streamers dotted the sides of the ship.

            “Are you going to shut up now?”

            “For a bit, yeah.”

            “Good. Do they know were here?”

            “Yup. Oh! Dang it! Sorry!”

            “You can speak. I didn’t mean for you to actually shut up.”

            “Oh thank God. I hate being quiet. You know this.”

            “Unfortunately, I do indeed.”

            “Oh, hey! Great news!”

            “Now what?”

            “When we get back to the States, I need to go to China! And you get to come with!”

            “How is that great news?”

            “Have you ever been to China?”

            “No?”

            “Then there you go! We need to borrow one of those terracotta soldiers or whatever they’re called.”

            “By borrow, you mean steal.”

            “Potato, pahtato. Aren’t you excited!”