Unforgettable

Sincerely.

Dear Darling,

 

Do you remember?

Our story

The one where we saved each other

From falling too hard

In love, like, guilt

But in the end

It happened

Do you remember?

Our song

The one with lyrics that stretched

Our truth

So many miles long

Do you remember?

Our palms

The way they held on to so many

Slippery slopes

And weathered much more than

They could grasp

Do you remember?

Our flame

The one that burned so bright

It outshone the sun

And overwhelmed starlight

Do you remember?

Our time

It stood so still

So still we could hardly look back,

Overlook, or rewind

-With Love,

Me

Reviews

[jacob erin-cilberto]

and the feeling i get here is that both parties thought themselves right out of the relationship...the fantasy looked and sounded great...but then the reality was too scary.
nothing to really rewind.
i like the pace, and i like the somewhat surprise ending.
j.

[Laurierose]

That's how it's happens sometimes, unfortunately. I appreciate the sincere review!

[Crowley]

I love the part about keeping each other from falling too hard. The point that is expressed it is always too late anyway...lol. Heres to walking those paths and building our character through the ones we love. Excellent write!!!

[Laurierose]

Yes, the irony of this line was almost comical (lol!). It's almost as if the sooner we try to grab a hold of something to break the fall, we've plummeted even deeper. Thank you for the sincere review, Crowley!

[barleygirl]

This is an awesome playful inquiry that brings a smile to my face. What stands out is how spontaneous your writing sounds, even tho it's also well-crafted with an organized flow of ideas. I love the way the intensity of the narrator's questioning seems to be more & more dramatic, with ever-more-vivid imagery to symbolize how this connection feels. I love the way it starts out a little timid & reticent, before ramping up to this ending crescendo of enthusiasm! (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie

[Laurierose]

I love how you caught that! Yes, the choppiness was definitely for effect. I surely appreciate the warm review, Margie!

[sette]

i like the flow of words used the romantic angle rich in colorful metaphors

[Laurierose]

I really do enjoy word play and extended metaphor. I appreciate the review, my friend.