Her

She was perfect.

From the way her hair swayed back and forth with each swaggering step, to the utter radiance and joy she brought to any room when she merely smiled. Everything about her appearance was beautiful, the kind of beautiful that makes every passer by stop with awe and gratitude. She smelt like an endless field of lilacs and her eyes were as lively as the sun. Yes, she was perfect in everyway imaginable, and I loved her.

She was dying.

Not in the physical sense, no. But inside, her mental stability was deteriorating with the notion of self loathing. She couldn’t stand the person she was, and the person she was becoming. I gave her every possible appreciation imaginable. I called her beautiful every day, told her I loved her, said her spirit was the liveliest that I knew of; and I desired her more than anything in existence. But it was never enough, and not a word was ever uttered back to me.

She didn't love me.

Not like I loved her. She never said so, but her lack of infliction with her ‘words of affection’ proved to falsify her speech. She didn’t touch me like I to her and she was never overtly excited to see me, at all. But she didn’t hate me; I know this to be true. Her eyes were always gentle whenever her gaze passed mine; there was just never that spark, the fire of love and desire, deep within those sapphire orbs.

I didn't resent her.

In fact I loved her more and more; and despite her lack of want, my love only grew for the girl with that dazzling smile. I held her when she had her rough days and listened while she vented with rage. I was always there whenever she needed another. And I couldn’t stop the love that flew out of me into her; I didn't care if she accepted it or not, I had to give it to her.

She left.

I encouraged her to go, to do what her heart desired, to pursue what made her happy. Of course she was mildly concerned about my feelings but I knew, and she knew, that she was never for me. And I would’ve fought till I couldn’t breathe for that girl’s happiness, but her happiness was not mine and she was meant to leave. And despite my broken heart, my unrequited passions, I don’t regret a single moment with her;

for I think she needed me more than I loved her.

Author's Note

This was inspired by the song "California" by Delta Spirit. If you haven't heard of it, give it a listen! It's a wonderful song. Thanks for the read :)