Effortless

The stain on your back stared back at me

merging, submerging

like the plains of Africa, stared back at me

my imagination urging

it spelled your name, then melted

took me from kalahari to Tavarua

it erupted volcanoes and settled,

the journey ending without drama

the stain on your back stared at me

your warmth on my skin 

stretched your arms to my knee

like this always has been 

slipping words in casually

i was yours by coincidence

but you surrendered causally 

Author's Note

This is a work in progress, but I couldn't think of how to improve. Feedback is very welcome on the content and flow.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

A very interesting poem. Very nice imagery too...:)

[TL Boehm]

Its a beautiful intimate poem - the organic flow of life and the way we relate to each other. Poets have such a unique perspective on what others see as commonplace or dont see at all.

[Emily B]

it seems full-grown to me, extremely beautiful

[gombeggar]

make it longer...explore this weird image and make it more full...potential here

[Rita L. Sev]

Intriguing concept, the stains on one's back, morphing and taking you to so many imaginings - I like that. The last stanza feels like it does not belong to this poem. Its flow and content, even the length, are out of sync. I like the lines, and think they have possibility in a different piece.