Flames

I sit in front of the glowing fire

and watch the flames make love to each other.

There is something about their seductive dance

that puts me into a euphoric trance.

a burning sensation in my heart;

not caused by the flames’ magnificent art-

makes me look across at you

and that’s when I realize

you are watching them too.

Author's Note

I'm not too sure about this piece, I feel like it needs more work to it. Feedback, please :)

Reviews

[child of God]

this is a wonderful piece thank you for pending

[Aehr]

You should be proud of this piece. The description of the flames is amazing, and the fact that the boy is looking at the flames as well is like a gigantic cherry on top of the amazing piece that this is. Left me wanting to read more. Well done.

[Ally Monique]

This is beautifully creative, I've never heard of flames "making love" its absolutely genius.
and the ending of this piece:

"and that's when I realize
you are watching them too."
it just adds a whole other element to the poem ^^

You're a brilliant writer, I look forward to seeing more work from you ^_^

[Michael G. Smith]

Very strong poem. Right away capture the intensity of the flames. I too become mesmerized when I sit in front of a campfire. You can read me depiction as I stare at my love through the flames in Providence by Firelight.

[ARuth]

i love what you did with the poem. the flames in the poem and the line at the end can signify a lot, depends upon the reader and his or her experiences. It's simple but it has depth. Keep it up!

[Vidya Bacchus]

I liked it.It feels romantic.Nice poem :)

[The Hampstead Poet]

This piece is interesting, but I'm not quite sure where you are getting with your thoughts. The simplicity is great, but my advice is to continue it. Keep writing, add on to it. Very thought-provoking, though. An interesting piece to read.

[Augustus]

It is a lovely little piece! Sensuous, romantic, warm and playful...much like the flame you speak of...I like the ending too. My only advice would be to be careful with adjectives. Use them sparingly, and when you do, they should ideally be irreplaceable. For instance, in the poem in question, I feel "magnificent" is redundant...Sometimes, what you add to decorate a poem ends up taking away from it.
But as far as the overall effect goes, this poem filled me with glee. You certainly have the talent. Thanks! :)

[Ruth]

Personally, I like it as it is, leaves the reader to imagine the ending, as such, for themselves...the desire summoned and stirred, where will it lead? Lovely piece xx

[Samantha Lynn]

yeah, this was pretty great. it was all simple, but perfectly great in the way that it got the message across. It was relate able, something everyone wants. Just the be wanted. I loved it and added it to my favorites folder. Great write! :)