I used to
think that I could be the guy to make a girl happy, the guy who rescues the
damsel in distress. How naïve I was to believe that. When I got to know you, I realized
that you weren’t just sad, you were far beyond the abyss, and seeing as I’m
being honest here, it scared me. I was an idiot to even think that I could just
get rid of your depression by telling you that I love you. It was wrong of me
to think of you like some sort of experiment. But the way you held on to me so
tightly made me realize that you thought I could be the one to save you too;
you were so certain that only my love could heal your brokenness. I looked up
depression on the internet, and it said that most people who are depressed don’t
even know why. So it made me wonder,
if you don’t know why you are depressed, how could you be so sure that I could
heal you? If there’s one thing I know about happiness, it’s that only you can make it happen. I am merely a
man; with no capability of driving away your demons, for only you hold the power
to reach inside your mind and demolish them. Please don’t say that I gave up on
you. I just wanted you to be like a bird, not an anchored-down ship that you
were becoming. I loved you to the Heavens and beyond, and honestly, I still do.
But it was tearing me apart to see you believe in me so much when I knew that I
couldn’t save you. Deep down inside
of you, there is a warrior and believe me; she doesn’t need any man to make her
come out and slay that beast. Someday, you’ll look back on the wreckage
of your depression and you’ll hold your own hand, because you’ll realize that
when I left you, that warrior inside of you stayed. You are your own saviour.
So this isn’t an apology letter, but you’ll forgive me one day.