I Wanted To Say This to You Before You Left, but the Depression Made Me Numb

I know that I would be the last person to be awarded with a ‘Girlfriend of the Year’ trophy;

I snap at you for no apparent reason and constantly whine that I’m not good enough for you.

Most nights, I cry so many tears that I could drown myself in them, and when you ask me what is wrong I reply with “I’m just tired.” In a way, it’s the truth- I’m tired of feeling sad all of the time and I’m tired of being controlled by these powerful and taunting demons that entice me into acts of damnation. I admit that I am not being fair when I let you see me destruct this way. I know that watching me hurt is hurting you as well.

But how dare you treat me like I’m a f*****g grenade. How dare you distance yourself as far away as possible from me as if I am about to explode. And how dare you give up on me so quickly. Because behind these sad eyes and past this depression, there is a girl that truly loves you. A girl that needs you. And I know that getting better would be the cure to keeping you in my life, but stealing the stars out of the sky seems more possible right now than exterminating this sadness that resides inside me. Yet it will help a lot if you’d just be there for me; if you would just hold me and tell me that everything is going to be alright. But even though I know that everything isn’t going to be alright the second the words slip from your lips, it will be if you never let me go, as I can only slay this beast called depression if you are holding my hand.

Author's Note

This is not a story about me. I wanted to write a piece about someone who gave up on their partner due to depression. I'm also thinking of writing a piece from the boys point of view too, let me know what you think.

Reviews

[sonnie ibadah]

great work! its like a conversation between two wanting hearts!

[FlatLineBeauty]

This is very easy for me to relate to. I find it amazing how even when its not about you, you have this gift of conveying it so well. Good job Laura. xo Winter

[Steve M]

The piece is well-written. For me, the use of profanity has no place in this work; I cannot help but think that there are better words to use, e.g. "a live grenade," or "a ticking bomb."
In formal writing there is no such word as "alright." It has become acceptable in some informal (unedited) writings, but the correct term is two words, "all right". But this is your piece and you can do whatever you wish, this is just my opinion.
In summary, this is a good, well-written piece. Keep up the good work.

[annabellee]

Very emotional and very good write.
well done :)

[The Hampstead Poet]

This is very expressive, and I think that you have gotten the emotions of this scenario perfectly. Great from both points of view.

[Bob Sherunkle]

This was truly heartbreaking.Very well written and I'm sure will make people sit up and take note.

[cimmy wuv xxxooo]

This was a sad little piece... my sister struggles from depression... and her boyfriend that shes living with, isn't treating her right at the moment. This really made me think about her. Its sad but true, guys find it hard to deal with, and sometimes, they just get sick of the girl depressed all the time, that they begin to not even care... its just to hard for them. They could try allot harder if they truly love the girl, but i guess some guys cant be bothered.

I loved this piece, full of emotion, meaning and deep feeling.
Great little story, i enjoyed the read :)

[❤ Maggie ❤..]

It's sad that this is so realistic, now a days :/ I think you worded it perfectly, though! I can honestly feel the emotions she's feeling when reading this. That's how you know a good writer, when they portray feelings and emotions perfectly. Well done with this piece :)

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is a sad reality for a lot of people.Life is sad and people are sad and depressed and sometimes their partner does'nt know how to cope:)