When Someone You Love Is Suicidal

My boyfriend is suicidal.

When chopping vegetables for dinner, he always holds the knife a little too close to his wrist

And he keeps a gun underneath his bed, not to use against house intruders, but for when he finally decides to silence the demons inside his head

When I asked him why, he told me that suicide is the only thing you can control in life and that he wanted to beat God at his own game.

So he always puts his seat belt on when he’s in the car

And he looks both ways when crossing the road.

Because he does want to die, but only on his own terms

When he cut himself last night on a broken piece of glass, I believed him when he told me that it was an accident

Because, honestly, I don’t think that he really wants to kill himself.

He just wants to believe that there is another way out of the hell that he is living in.

So I will hold him and tell him how much he means to me

And I will plant kisses on every inch of his body and hope that my love is enough to drive the demons away

Because I read once that "you can't save people, you can only love them."

Author's Note

This isn't actually about my boyfriend, just a poem that I came up with.

Reviews

[Ally Monique]

I've never been in this situation, and I hope to never be. Knowing the person you love wants to kill themselves, and knowing there is nothing you can do about it
A lot of people don't want to die, but instead just want to find an escape from their personal hell.
this was a deep read, thank you for sharing

[The Hampstead Poet]

Beautiful. I really love how you truly understand this imaginary boyfriend, and how eloquently you express the emotions in this piece. Amazing.

[zaneybear]

i like this piece a lot because plenty of us actually do have boyfriends/girlfriends/or loved ones in general who contemplate suicide and i can whole heartedly say this is like 99.9% correct the other .1% is just because not everyone is the same, i loved this.

[Relic]

You wrote in a way that it is real. Love is what they are seeking for sure.

[Moniba]

Emotional... the idea here is well delivered. I get the guy's mentality..

[WithLoveandLoss.]

This is so emotionally severe, and dramatic! I love it, and I think you captured the plea of a loved one quite well

[Winter Renee Vineyard]

This is more of a short story....but it's VERY well written....almost as if you've had experience with something like this in the past....keep up the good work!

[sonnie ibadah]

wow! this poem is more like a story. i really like the message in this one, its very real because many of us do have that person in our lives that is suicidal in some way. maybe we don't know it yet or we ignore it or we just don't know how to handle it. nice work!

[Misty.C]

This is very, nice. I truly, truly, enjoyed it. Good job- touching message.

[annabellee]

Very touching and it has a good message, well done :)