I Named My Loneliness After You

I can’t eat without thinking about the way you always held the knife in your left hand instead of your right.

And I can’t go to sleep before saying “I love you” to thin air, as if you might miraculously appear in the space beside me and reply “I love you too.”

The cracks in between my fingers feel empty without yours slotted into them

And my heart yearns to beat for you again.

I have written over 30 letters to you that I will never send

Because I am rehearsing their contents so I know what to say to you when you finally come back to me.

I stare at the pictures in my hand and remember how happy we were…

But then I recall the night that you left

How you told me that I was just a pick-me-up to you and your one last regret.

I know that I deserve someone miles better than you

But your arms were my safe haven

And you made me complete

Nostalgia has never been this bitter-sweet. 

Reviews

[Aaron the Baron]

This poem takes on a different face during the last five lines. It starts on pure longing, and then transitions into a combination of longing and dread and a pinch of resentment. It's such a complicated feeling, loving someone, knowing that they never felt the same way about you. Great job. Honestly this work surprised me by the time I was done.

[Diana Lynn]

Wow. These words are so powerful. I love this because it's something everyone has felt at some point. You want to move on but you can't. You just.. can't.