This one's a genuine, straightforward expression after being touched by love. The look in your eyes, the kiss that melts the inside all this is so real. The poem's sensual and passionate. Liked it. Good work. Great way to come back to writing LOL :-)
Wow, this was a really beautiful write. I really liked the directness of this piece, and thought that you evoked the passion and love involved in a relationship in a subtle yet convincing way. I thought that the pace and flow of this piece was effortless and effective, and that the placement of the last three lines made for a perfect ending. Nice work,
~PaperHearts
Cool. Laura, you got something here. Because i love you and want you to be the best, i'd suggest you tweak the rhythm a little, make sure it all flows nicely.
I have to say, (you know my cheeky mind) this was full of innuendos - if you look at it that way... ;)
Anyway, great stuff! And I hope this isn't based on truth, or you've got some serious explaining to do!
It most certainly does work, its a stunning piece and really reflects the fact that every single person that we encounter changes us, I believe this to be true, but thats just my opinion. Nicely penned though, thanks for sharing.
I think this is your best piece so far..it conveys a great visual image and i love the idea of someone getting under your skin and changing your ways even if it's unnerving...it's exciting...well done