nine

A Chapter by Laur

nine

My sweaty hand clenched tightly to his as I followed him out to the front yard. Fog surrounded the bench he chose to lead me to. Why was I following a complete stranger? At this rate I would follow an ax murderer to escape that house full of sloppy half sober hook ups and depressing memories.

As we sat he still held on to my hand. I was beginning to feel uneasy. Not sure if that was Mr. Dreamy or the shot Greg handed me.

"So what is your story?" He looked deeply concerned. His dark bushy eyebrows tightened like the grip on my beer.

"My story?" who the hell was this guy?

"You clearly have a problem…I can see it in your eyes." he inched closer.

"I'm avoiding a very recent ex, who I can't look at anymore without wanting to turn into a big baby.." I flicked the tab on my Bud Light. "Fair enough?"

"Who?" he took a swig of his drink, which the smell of was starting to make me queasy.

"Dyl..you know him?"

"Yeah, well. Well enough to know its not worth you looking as miserable as you do.." He handed me his cup. "You can have my drink. I can't watch you drink that s**t anymore."

"Gee thanks" I laughed and sipped it. Solid, rum with maybe a splash of coke. My favorite.

"You are extremely beautiful you know.." His hand brushed my hair out of my face. He had these eyes that were so green they seemed fake. His face was edgy and sharp in all the weirdest places but it was intriguing.

"Thank you, I don't hear that much anymore." I felt my eyes start to get just wet enough that I had time to stop it. This is the make or break moment. He can either change the subject or here comes Niagra Falls.

Before I knew it, his full lips were pressed up against mine. His toungue was just touching the outside of the crease of my mouth. Something was stopping me from letting him in. Right as I was about to, almost the same time his strong hand held my chin..I heard a voice I wasn't ready for.

"Steve what the hell…" I looked up and there he was. The man of the hour. "Really? Of every girl at this god damn party?" He was getting louder. I still hadn't turned around. Suddenly the garden was extremely interesting to me.

"Dude, I didn't know this was your Lilly.." Lies.

YOUR Lilly.

Emphasis on that "your" that was about to make me crumble.

I got up and headed for the road. I could not stand here and pretend that this was okay for me to hear. I knocked back what was left of my poison and had a plan. Maybe I could walk home? God knows he doesn't wanna talk to me right now. I could call my mom..she was always awake. Having a night owl mom always came in handy. My condition may anger her but I was ready for that risk.

Your Lilly. I repeated that sentence in my head over and over. The falseness behind that statement was such a reality check for me. Why didn't he just punch me in the gut and walk away. I would have preferred that at this point.

I felt a firm grip on my wrist. I whipped around and pulled.

"Don't touch me, just dont." I backed up.

"Lil, what the hell is going on?" his voice was low and worried. What else is new?

"I don't know..he was being nice and its not like I slept with him, calm down.." I couldn't look up yet. I wasn't ready. Not ready to look at what was no longer mine.

"Thats Gregs 27 year old brother Steve."

I shot my head up..I knew him years ago.

"F**k.." I turned and started again farther down the driveway.

"It's not your fault, I'm not mad..I just thought you knew." He really was too calm.

Then I bursted.

"I want you to be mad don't you get it?!" I turned and looked him right in the eyes, his eyes that broke me down to nothing.

Then he made a huge mistake. He walked towards the mess. He put both of his hands on the sides of my now soaked face. I swear to god I could tell you exactly where every line on his soft hands are. I know that the scar from eighth grade band class was touching my chin. I wanted to pause time and stay this way forever.

"Calm down.." He pulled on my shirt until I felt his torso hit mine. My head fell onto his shoulder. For a moment, I couldn't breathe. I closed my tear soaked eyes and there it was. The happy place I hadn't been in in so long. There was a sort of peace I would get when he held me. It is as if not even the strongest person could pull me away; like we were one all of a sudden and no harm could come to me. His hold always brought me to some sort of safety.

" I hate this.." I let out so quietly I wasn't even sure he heard me. My head was spinning. If he let me go I may even hit the ground. That last chug was starting to creep up into me.

"Lauren..we talked about this." he pulled away to look at me.

There it was. The boy I fell in love with the second I walked into my 6th grade social studies class. His deep concerned eyes, caramel skin and gentle composure never changed with time. It was all just now on a grown man.

"I know, just let me go..please. I can't do this.." I felt his hands release me. I back away. "It's just not okay yet." I backed up, hoping my coordination wasn't quite gone.

"Lil, you can't walk home...it's 5 miles." He began towards me.

By then I'd turned and headed to the side walk. I got about ten yards before I could hear his sneakers hitting the pavement. Right then, all I could think to do was to drop. I sat on the curb instantly and pulled out my phone. The time on it was moving side to side. I started to feel my face flush and feet numb up. Then, there he was yet again.

"Go away! Don't you f*****g get it!" My head hit my hands, shaking elbows to knees. "This hurts! I tried to come, I tried to make everything seem okay. But it probably never will be. I can't look at you without wanting to scream..Your face hurts me so much Dyl..you have no idea. I was in it so much deeper than you were..." I could legitimately hear my tears hitting the concrete. I just let it all flow. I sounded like I was being kidnapped. Grunts, hyper ventilating and all.

"It hurts to see me? Do you think it is easy for me to see you?" He sounded almost angry.

"It's nothing like that. Everything has always been so much easier for you. I was your first everything, you are curious. You weren't mine, I knew you were the one for me..." I looked up at him, he looked confused and calm. "I still love you Dylan Rice. And I guess thats gonna suck for awhile. I need time. So you go on being fine..and I'll continue to hate my life." I wiped my face on the top of my shirt. Black makeup will be stuck there for good now.

"I loved you too yanno...but you let go of me.." his voice trailed off.

"LOVED. Keyword in this Dylan." I stood up and faced him. Probably not one of my better ideas..

"Lil..."

"Stop giving me a pity party..I wanna go home." I tried unlocking my phone over and over. Before I could try a third time, he was already typing it in for me and dialing my mother.

While I waited for him to get off the phone explaining, I sat back down to pull myself together a bit. Dylan joined me, rubbing my hair and saying sorry for everything. He repeated that he wanted us to be able to be with our friends together soon and have it be okay. I told him he was a joke for thinking we could erase a three year relationship in one summer.

My mother pulled up looking full of worry and bags under her eyes. It was 4am. We were out here fighting for a few hours.

"Bye." I jumped up not looking back. I felt his hand graze my back as it fell to his side. Tonight made me realize things would never go back the way they were. Ever.

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© 2014 Laur

Author's Note

sorry it has been oh so long, a lot has gone on in my life. hope most of you are still interested

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Reviews

Meraki

I need to know what happens next chapter! I need to know! This is amazing and so full of drama, fantastic work. Now about that next chapter? Is it coming out soon? Lol.