seven

Now

I swung open my door. There stood Dylan. His overgrown beard aged him to about 25 and he held a bag in his left hand. Immediately I looked at what I was wearing, just my bathing suit and a bright yellow sundress. I had given up this summer on making myself presentable so my caramel hair was thrown up in a baseball hat and I didn't bother with makeup. Well, here's to hopes he doesn't think a zombie answered the door. 

"Hi" I stepped out onto the porch.

"Um, hey. I texted you but I don't think you got it.." i stared at him until he told me why the hell he was here. "So I had all of your books and I am moving rooms now that Mark is gone..so I wanted to give them back." I stepped back a bit. He came here to return books he knows I have read and told him to keep? Is this a joke?

"Cool thanks." I put my hand out and he slung the handle of the bag over my fingers. 

His deep eyes looked like they used to when he found out bad news. This couldn't have been more uncomfortable. All I wanted to do was throw my arms over his shoulders and hold him. That is all I ever wanted. I want to erase that night in my driveway, when I let go of the only thing in life that gave me so much life.

"So, are you going on vacation soon?" He couldn't even look at me.

"Yeah tomorrow. I need it." 

"Awesome, well have fun." He spun on his heel and without even looking back he was already at his car. How can two people who used to be so fiercely in love, fall apart this fast? We couldn't even have a simple conversation anymore.

Then

I watched the golden sand and sparkly flecks of rock move around between my wiggling toes. This was one of my favorite feelings in the world. 

The sound of the crashing waves put me in my utmost serenity. I couldn't see them due to the fact that it was almost midnight, but I felt as if they were about to form a large blanket over me.

"I wanna live on a beach one day" I laid back onto Dylan's warm chest. I listened to his steady heartbeat. My hand rested comfortably on his thigh. 

"Is that a demand?" he joked as his fingers found their way into my salt filled beach waves. 

"Maybe..." I sighed. "I just love the idea of being able to come home to such a sanctuary. I would never be able to be sad. You can't be sad here.

I traced the outline of his jean pocket my my index finger. Quickly I flipped myself until I was on top of him facing his sun kissed face. 

"But you would have to come or it wouldn't be a sanctuary anymore." I stated, slowly kissing his stubbly chin. 

"Well of course I would, who would be the one paying for it all?" his strong hands lingered on my lower back and up my thin tank top. 

"I would help with the money I make from my cake business.." I smirked making my way to find his lips in the dark.

Dylan pulled the blanket we were laying on over us and held me close, our bodies almost one. 

"One day we will live happily somewhere..just as long as we are together everything will work its way out." He kissed my burnt nose. 

"Sounds perfect. " 

Now

I watched the waves slap the wet sand as I put my icy drink to my lips. Looking around all I saw were bittersweet memories and breathing became more difficult each second.Tequila had that perfect power of numbing the hate I have with this place now. The perfect sky, the beautiful water, the happy faces and laughter. I dropped my empty cup into the sand. It was just around 6am and I was alone here. All the families back in their cottages, cracking open beers,  grilling and reminiscing about the glory days. While I stood here in awe of how my sanctuary now became nothing but a reminder of how happy I once was. 

I slipped of my stringy flip flops and slid my shorts down. I walked towards the rough waves and the setting sun. The cold water greeted my bare toes as I stepped in. A shock of life was heading up my legs. I stepped in further, and further. Suddenly I just let myself drop. The splash created a bubble shield around my limp body. My butt hit the bottom of the sand, I stood up and took a long breath of the salty air. The cool waves hit my bare back as I peered off at the magenta setting sun. This time last year, I could almost still feel it; arms wrapping around my waist. Dylan would whine about how cold the water was and how his chubby days were over. Then there was me, the fish who could float in the water until the sun set just like this. Now, just quiet. Never thought I would miss the nagging, the kisses he would use to drag me out, the bribing of a buttercrunch ice cream on him and a night on the boardwalk. God I hate my vivid memory. 

I walked out of the water and felt the icy drops racing down my body. As I grabbed my towel I plopped back into the sand. After pulling on my clothes it was completely dark. My mom and dad are going to wonder why my walk turned into a marathon. I pulled my knees to my chest and put my head down. Don't let this ruin your vacation Lil, don't remember. It was almost as if Dylan was dead. I looked up and saw him everywhere but never in real life anymore. And that was my fault. He wanted to see me, but it was way too hard. After my last fit I don't think it was going to be possible for awhile. Note to self: don't fall that hard ever again. 

And then I felt it, the feeling I was so familiar with. My whole body seized up as my hazel eyes filled. I always had this hope if i didn't blink, the tears would just not have to fall. But that's like thinking that if the storm cloud moved quick enough, the rain will miss you and just move on. Unrealistic. I wasn't even emotional, I was a stone statue just going through the motions..every night. What is it with the night? It descends such an unhappy hue. 

Author's Note

had time for a little extra tonight :) enjoy readers! you mean the world to me!

Reviews

[ANM]

Coming along very nicely!

[Laur]

thank you!

[ANM]

You are welcome enjoyed reading!

[Meraki]

That was beautiful, sad but realistic and easy to relate to.. Brilliant.

[Laur]

thanks love!

[Meraki]

You're welcome dear :)

[A. Amos]

Passionate and sensual read, pure magic you created here my friend

[Laur]

Thank you so very much.

[Avinash]

It has come up as very intimate and easy to relate with . We all build castles but some of them are made up of sand and they go away with the tides leaving us alone with only memories to cringe to . Thanks for sharing

[Laur]

I really want to make sure I am relate-able to my readers so I am so happy you said that. And you could not have said that better my friend, I completely agree.